dragonfishdreams:

newskoolnatty:

dragonfishdreams:

greentrickster:

dragonfishdreams:

Okay, but what if not all mutations (a la X-Men) are actually helpful? The powers supposedly come from an evolutionary mutation, after all, and some of those hit dead ends – not everyone ends up ‘the fittest.’

And what if this is actually the explanation for Peter Parker’s extraordinarily bad luck? He actually is a mutant, but he has a terrible power that only causes him pain and grief, and the only reason he’s still alive is because he got those spider powers. And no one’s figured it out because they’re distracted by the spider powers and don’t notice that the luck is literally unnaturally bad.

I was talking to my sister about this, and she put forth the suggestion of Peter getting a mutant power suppressant collar put on him and I just… that would be amazing? Like, no one knows where Peter’s powers came from for the most part, we’re got all these mutants running around, it wouldn’t be a stretch for some anti-mutant jerk to just assume that he’s a mutant, catch Peter, and toss him in with all the other mutants they’ve captured for whatever purpose.

Cue Peter announcing to the rest of the captives “Don’t worry, guys, I’m not actually a mutant – my powers still work just fine!” and breaking everyone out. Except, as they get farther and farther into the escape, Peter starts getting more and more concerned because. Nothing is going wrong? At all? This has been shockingly easy? Everything’s going according to plan? What? By the time they’re out the door, Peter’s started actively trying to distance himself from the rest of the group and be annoying and unlikeable, because this is too long without something going wrong, someone’s going to die if this keeps up.

But no one dies. They get back to the X-mansion with minor fuss, Professor X runs some tests because Peter’s freaking out and it turns out, oh, you actually were a mutant, your power is just the worst power ever.

Peter: “Soooo… what I’m getting out of this is, if I keep wearing this collar, I won’t have such constant crappy luck?”

Professor X: “Well ideally it would be best if you learned more about your power now that you’re aware of it and-”

Peter: “Sorry, just remembered that you wouldn’t let me join your super-team so I don’t have to listen to you byeeeeeee~!!!”

And he makes it home in time for supper and life just gets better. Though Peter keeps getting surprised by stuff. Ex:

Peter: Wow, I haven’t stepped in gum in, like, a week. Weird.

MJ: That’s… actually pretty normal for most people?

Peter: What, seriously? Wild.

(snorts) A+ additional content, can’t stop picturing Peter somehow acquiring more of those suppressant collars, so he can learn how they work and build either build himself a new one if the first one he gets breaks or stream-line the design to make it more comfortable and less obvious to wear, because he is high-key Not Going Back To That.

It would also be interesting to see peoples’ reactions to that sort of thing, especially if this is in one of those universes where normal people know at least vaguely about the suppressant collars, not so much from a superheroing standpoint (he can always wear the thing under his costume and just say “yeah, trying a new look”) but from people in school.

‘cause I can see that covering a wide spectrum of reactions, from the people who have no idea what it is and think it’s just some new ‘look’ to the people who do know and approve (because that’s the ‘responsible’ thing for a mutant to do) to the people who think it is high-key disgusting that he’s wearing that thing for various reasons (either under the impression that he’s being played by the system or forced to wear it (I’m not saying MJ is ready to cut someone when she first sees it, but hoo boy, I’m not saying she isn’t, either)). If even a small fraction of the school knows about those collars, wearing it in public means he’s basically come out as being a mutant, and that news will travel fast, it’s high school.

The thing is, though? It’s also happening in a situation where Peter’s supernatually bad luck isn’t in play, and it’d be really interesting to see this play out in a situation where the worst-case-scenario isn’t automatically the most likely.

Also it’s canon that mutant suppression collars cause terrible headaches, so Peter could potentially solve that problem

Oooh, yeah! And if he can’t do it on his own, it’s also canon that he knows a magical surgeon who could potentially help him figure it out!

Peter: EYYYY, DOCTOR STRANGE! My favorite doctor-type person! Help me figure out how to make these stop causing migranes so I never have to take it off again, pretty please? I’m not quite sure which bit of me head it’s causing to hurt.

Dr. Strange: (is so shocked that someone’s asking after his medical knowledge as opposed to his magical knowledge that he’s halfway through a consultation before he realizes what he’s doing)

thor-20:

smarmyanarchist:

stuckuptumblercunt:

smarmyanarchist:

smarmyanarchist:

god im just thinking about how much going to public school in the MCU would’ve made me hate captain america. every time i got caught giving some bitch the finger or writing on bathroom walls or ditching class or stealing books from the library cause i got a fine or what have you, and then they gave me lunch detention or ISS and i sat in that dumbass eraser-smelling room and im in My Chair (the chair i always sit in and yell at anyone else who tries to take it), fuming, arms crossed, full of teen angst and hating everyone around me, and AGAIN had to watch this stupid fucking video ive already seen so many times that i know it by heart and every word grates on my eardrums and i’d just see this fuckin familiar face

and i would be ready to LOSE MY SHIT

Villain Origin Story

god imagine Steve giving Peter his Captain America is Disappointed in You face/lecture over something dumb and Peter just fucking dissociating and zoning back in to “Peter! Are you even listening to me???” and looking him in the eye and being like “I’m completely immune at this point. You can’t even touch me.” and walking the fuck away

canon.

the real reason why Peter agreed to fight cap at the airport

fool-ofatook:

sevi007:

mithrils-hanger:

anonymousrobinhoodgirl:

thequantumqueer:

ohcaptainmyallycat:

Shuri shouting out the floor is lava and recording the confusion among the avengers wondering why tchalla king of Wakanda hopped up on a counter cause goddammit his little sister pulls this shit all the time and peter is stuck on the wall because he’s also a child of the internet and understands the meme life and now his fate is sealed there will never not be a time Shuri isn’t camera ready and yelling out the floor is lava to see the wackiest places she could get peter to stick on

T’Challa ignored her once so she developed synthetic deployable lava and the next time she yelled the floor is lava it actually was. T’Challa lives in fear now because he knows if he doesn’t pretend the floor is dangerous, it will be.

Once she got peter to stick onto T’Challa.

Everytime she does this, Thor is the first to find high ground. because Loki used to play the same game, and Loki was never one for ‘pretend’.

I need fanart of, like, all of these scenarios.

I have now the mental image of Thor on the counter, T’Challa hanging on his arm and Peter clinging onto T’Challa’s leg, hovering about 2cm above a pool of lava, with Loki and Shuri crying with laughter