I just imagined Tony rolling into a meeting on a scooter with a cup of bubble tea late like “sup idiots” bitternessTM but then
I imagined a tapioca bubble just shot up his straw and hit the back of his throat so he started choking and it ruined the effect
LMAO but can I make it Heelys for added crack???
Tony slides into the conference room on his heels, wheels whirring and shoes flashing yellow and red lights. “Sup, idiots,” he says, one hand clutching a cup of bubble tea and the other holding his phone, which he is tapping at rapidly with his thumb.
Steve scowls. “Stark, the world is in danger! Can’t you take this seriously?!”
“Sorry, I can’t hear you over how seriously I was taking it when I was trying to tell you that it was coming and you all thinking I was paranoid,” Tony tells him, and takes a slurp of tea obnoxiously.
Steve almost feels sorry until Tony makes a terrible hacking sound. “What the fuck.”
Natasha slams a fist into Tony’s back as she walks past him. “Should have stuck to Starbucks.”
Tony hacks up the tapioca pearl. “I had ten caffeine pills for breakfast because I haven’t slept in three days.”
Natasha looks vaguely horrified but also impressed. “Honestly surprised your heart is still beating.”
“You know it’s quite possible it’s not? Or it’s beating so fast I can’t tell,” Tony admits, turning his attention back to his phone.
“Who are you texting?” Clint asks snidely, leaning his cheek on his hand. “The entirety of the US armed forces? The president?”
“I’m playing Iron Flaps. It’s like Flappy Bird except it’s Iron Man.” Tony takes another obnoxious slurp of his bubble tea and chokes again.
Sam looks pale. “Someone take that away from him before he actually dies.”
“‘s what I’m trying for, my man,” Tony says, giving him a finger gun with the hand holding the tea. “Because if I’m dead I don’t have to worry about this. And if I choke on a tapioca pearl it’s an accident and not suicide.”
“He’s technically correct,” Vision admits. “Although one might argue–”
“Shhh, let me live–HIGH SCORE, BITCHES!” He shoves his phone in Wanda’s face, then brings it back to start a new game. “Anyway if any of you have any ideas that don’t include me that would be great because I’m actually busy.”
“Tony,” Steve begins, appalled.
Tony tilts his head. “Oh. And also I hate you. So. Please consider that when you come up with a plan.” He takes one last obnoxious slurp, doesn’t choke, and then flings the cup so it smacks into Steve’s head and explodes milk tea and tapioca pearls all over him, Sam, and Wanda. “Well, it was terrible seeing you and I actually have a fucking job so bye.”
Natasha watches him leave, heelies whirring and flashing, and tries not to laugh, because he’d clearly only shown up so he could throw bubble tea at Steve. Steve still looked a little shell-shocked. She figured Tony had gotten his point across.
And because I link bubble tea with outrageous fashion glasses for some reason:
And also:
((and I forgot what outfit I first drew Tony in))
You forgetting what outfit he was wearing originally just means he threw bubble tea at Steve twice. (And he fell for it. Twice.)
like honestly yall understand how important it is that rhodey basically does.not.give. a flying fuck about steve’s military status like hell rhodey probably doesnt even see him as a fellow soldier; i love the headcanons of rhodey & steve (&/or bucky) engaging in healthy air force vs army banter but like ??? rhodey probably doesnt even consider steve an actual military person ??? much less someone ??? superior to him ????
I see that and raise rhodey being like “he didn’t even earn his title tony. they gave him it. tony. TONY. TONY YOU’RE NOT LISTENING.”
lets keep going on this; imagine young rhodey getting invited to a dinner with the stark family & having to endure howard stark going on for hours about his Honorable Army Soldier Friend Steve Rogers who was just about the Epitome of A Good Soldier & rhodey going absent-mindlessly like “but wasnt he just given his title tho?” & tony nearly choking on his water bc of the look howard gives rhodey later; rhodey doesnt catch on it & he continues “yeah i mean, i just learned all of this recently but he was basically given the title so it sounded pretty when he toured in that fancy, colorful outfit” & like, they all sat mute in the dinner afterwards
re: rhodey first meets the avengers post battle and steve is obviously gearing up for a Big Speech but before he even opens his mouth rhodey is just “so like, is it an army thing?” and steve is just like “what?” “every time you throw a punch at a fake actor you get a rank.”
But omg even more though, Rhodey having the other WWII soldiers on high regard and like going on longwinded rants about them every time somebody talks about Captain America. Like “Captain America marched into the base and -” “Yeah that’s great but DID YOU KNOW THAT GABE MCFUCKIN JONES CAUGHT ARNIM ZOLA THOUGH?? LIKE, did you know about the real MVP?”. And dinners at the Stark household are horrible because Howard has all these stories about Steve but Rhodey knows them all and jumps in with counter points about the other soldiers who fought their way through and didn’t have the serum. Any time the 200 Hitler punches are mentioned Rhodey twitches and Tony leans back with a muffled laugh because there goes Rhodey talking about war propaganda and OMFG MR. STARK CAN WE TALK ABOUT LITERALLY ANYONE WHO HAS ACTUALLY PUNCHED THE GUY INSTEAD OF AN ACTOR?! AND HE GOT A RANK FOR IT, LIKE DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO –
Tony tries to record it the fifth time it happens. It’s the only video involving his dad that he likes.
Minerva McGonagall knew Augusta Longbottom’s Charms score, but she’s not old enough to have taught Neville’s grandmother
So they must have gone to school together and now I’m just picturing this awesome rivalry between the two of them.
Augusta’s in Ravenclaw, and Minerva’s in Gryffindor and they’re both prefects with damn near perfect grades
They take a special pleasure in showing one another up in class
When Minerva gets Head Girl, it crushes Augusta (and maybe Minerva lets up her teasing about the Charms OWL. Maybe. Just a little)
Two words:Quidditch rivalry
I mean they both respect each other deep down, but they’re competitive and extremely skilled, and neither one backs down easily
When they’re paired to practice dueling in DADA they can literally go for hours, and it usually ends in stalemates because the professor just kicks them out
When they hear people are starting to place bets on their fights, they hunt down the gamblers together, and no one ever really feels like crossing them again
Albus Dumbledore once remarked it was fortunate that the Sorting Hat put Minerva in Gryffindor because he didn’t think Hogwarts could survive the two of them working together for long
Just saying if anyone wanted to write me a fic about these two I would be 200% on board
If I remember my best interpretation of the numbers right, Walburgia Black would have *also* been in Minerva’s year, which I think is pretty good justification for interpreting it as not a simple rivalry but a three-way feud.
Hufflepuff House is not sure how they managed to avoid getting drawn into this but they’re not complaining.
Head canon that Amelia Bones was in Hogwarts at the same time and represented through Hufflepuff House
No wonder no one remembers Tom Riddle from his school years if everyone was focusing on the rivalry between these 4 witches
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 