happy christmas adam to all men’s rights activists
Please stop pestering us with things like this. This has nothing to do with men fighting for their rights. Eve is short for ‘evening’. Please don’t turn activism into a joke. Thanks.
Someone isn’t having a good christmas adam
Christmas Adam: December 23rd. Comes before Christmas Eve and is generally unsatisfying.
You know that whole trope where like, the protagonists get teleported up into the aliens’ spaceship or base or whatever and the alien appears to them only it doesn’t appear as it really looks like but rather, since it doesn’t want to scare the protagonists, it takes the form of something we find familiar and pleasing and is like, “I look like your dad or whatever–is this form okay?” Like I think about that trope a lot and I think like, what if the alien couldn’t pick out a form via telepathy and only had earth media to try and decide what form would scare its human guests least and be accepted almost immediately and honestly the more I think about it the more options for what form that might be are just really fun to me.
“I have chosen the form of your earth playwright and composer Lin-Manuel Miranda–do not be afraid. I come in peace.”
“Greetings. I am Glofnorbo of the cloud you call the ‘Pegasus Nebula.’ I have scanned your earth media from afar and empirically decided that you would find the form of the one known as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson most pleasing. I have come to confer with your leaders.”
“Do not be panic. I come in peace. I have assumed the form of your insectoid demigoddess ‘Hatsune Miku’ so that we may communicate peacefully without my true form horrifying you.”
“It was decided that I would assume the form of your ‘Mister Rogers’ in order to best welcome your world to the galactic neighborhood without frightening your kind.”
“…So did your colleague take on the form of Jack Black for that reason too?”
“No, that is the actual Jack Black. We do not know how to make him leave.”
Eliot on Hardison’s brew pub purchase for ronandhermy.
i want to be clear–this rant right here? is exactly why hardison bought a brew pub
because this, this is a familiar rant. hardison has heard it every time they are even so much as within 5 miles of a brew pub (and, ps, none of those brew pubs ever succeeded in designing a decent menu, per eliot)
when he first sees the listing in portland he cringes and clicks away fast because this is one of the rants it’s not even funny to goad eliot into because it happens SO MUCH and eliot doesn’t even get amusingly wound up, just earnestly offended/annoyed, and this is just the first tenth of the rant, okay? the rest of it involves complicated dissections of where brew pubs in general fail at menu design, and then move on to particular brew pubs who have offended eliot’s soul with the travesty of their menus
no way does hardison want to sign up for a daily dose of that rant, directed at his skills. except then he admits that it would take eliot about 2 minutes to take over the menu design, and this is the guy who can identify the sound of 28 different tire treads over 31 different types of surfaces, okay, he likes a challenge, and really it’s a gift to provide eliot with this opportunity
parker doesn’t look convinced when hardison tries out that explanation. “you sound sarcastic, he’s going to think you’re messing with him, not giving him something.”
and, okay, even in hardison’s head it comes off as sarcastic, as do the fifteen other ways he tries to practice giving eliot the brew pub. the problem is, hardison and eliot are only good at emotions with each other when shit is super tense and potentially-death-filled
hardison clicks away from the page again because it seems kind of hopeless, figuring it out, but then he thinks about eliot having an industrial kitchen to cook for them in, and a staff to order around, and a menu design he’s just secretly dorky enough about to brag about on brew pub posting boards and, well
maybe eliot will knowit’s for him from the get go, maybe he’ll figure it out along the way, or maybe it’ll never click for him, whatever. hardison isn’t concerned about the credit he just wants eliot to have it
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 