okay but if they aren’t using any of carrie’s scenes in episode ix, then they need to do a time jump, and in that time jump they need to establish that leia died doing something peaceful bc after a whole life of heroics, she deserves a rest
also, rey and finn have been jedi training together with maz, finn and poe are now dating, rose was initially sad that finn chose poe but then started dating rey and her whole world lit up, kyle ron is running the first order into the ground, and hux has started feeding the resistance information bc he’s so fed up with kyle’s shit, and more stormtroopers have deserted the first order to join finn and the resistance
Every single damn thing about this is perfect please write ep. 9
alternately, since i suck at writing screenplays, i give all my ideas to taika waititi and he gives us the gayest greatest star wars we’ve ever seen
I want an inverse spy flick. The spy is a woman. Her whole team is made up of diverse women. All the villains are women. There is only one man in the entire movie and he is a Strong Male Character who is like 25 and decently ripped and has a scene where he slowly steps out of a pool wearing speedos because he is Confident and In Control of His Sexuality. We see his ass when he has to tug down his pants to get at the knife strapped to his thigh. His nipples are always erect for no fucking reason.
They are undercover in a nightclub. In order to keep their cover from being blown, he has to kiss another man.
He knits to relieve stress and to keep his mind sharp. It is never discussed by any of the characters.
Someone asks him how he knows how to do Traditionally Feminine Thing. “I have four sisters,” he answers.
This is also how he knows how to fight while armed with nothing but a purse, a high heel shoe, and a can of hair spray. During this fight, he is, for no apparent reason, shirtless.
The lead spy is Helen Mirren. She nails the Action Boy in the shower. There’s a lot of lingering closeups on the way the shower spray runs across his breathlessly ecstatic face. We also hear every breathless whimper of his climax, while out in the hallway Lucy Liu is smoking impatiently, a duffel bag full of rocket launchers slung over her shoulder. The President isn’t going to kidnap herself, here, christ.
Action Boy emerges in a small towel, sheepish yet radiant. Helen Mirren emerges in a tuxedo, also smoking, also with a duffel bag of rocket launchers.
In one scene, the lead villain captures the Strong Male Character. He is, once more, inexplicably shirtless as she ties him to the chair. He makes some quips about his sexual independence before he is rescued by a sweat-drenched Helen Mirren, who kicks down the door and nukes everyone in the room. Strong Male Character’s hair remains perfect throughout the ordeal.
Strong Male Character is heartlessly slain in front of Helen Mirren’s eyes despite all of his skills and combat prowess. His body slumps to the ground, lifeless but supple. Helen Mirren makes a witty quip at Strong Male Character’s killers before quickly and dramatically slaying them all.
She steals one last glance at Strong Male Character. His beautiful eyes stare back from a handsome face with perfectly tussled hair, lips positioned a if in a gentle sigh. There’s no bringing him back now. Helen Mirren walks away, stronger than before. Strong Male Character’s death has hardened her, but given her the strength and resolve to complete her task.
Roll credits.
An after credits preview clip comes on as a teaser. Helen Mirren with a huge explosion tearing things up behind her walks toward the camera with a new Strong Male Character wearing the tiny, tattered remnants of a burned shirt about his flexing pecs and deltoids, and he is carrying the bag of rocket launchers as he steps in behind her.
So Matt Bomer?
I’m seeing Matt Bomer
and then fandom burns itself to the ground trying to find some guy to slash him with
Nah, Matt Bomer is almost 40. Despite his good looks and great bod, he’s way too old to play the shaggable romantic supporting character to 70-year-old Helen Mirren.
Matt Bomer plays Helen Mirren’s sadder-but-wiser ex, computer-savvy, gorgeous but still single, fiercely independent (but it’s all an act).
Helen Mirren shows up on his doorstep to ask him for one last hacker job, for old time’s sake. Matt hauls off to slap Helen in the face, but Helen catches his wrist, pulls him close, and kisses him long and hard. Matt struggles at first but finally melts into her embrace.
Lucy Liu strolls past them into Matt’s chic apartment, slapping Matt on the ass as she mutters “Some things never change, do they?”
Late the next night, as Matt and Helen hack into the CIA database, Helen tucks a stray lock of Matt’s hair behind his ear and asks him why there’s no husband or kids in the picture after all this time.
Matt turns his sad, beautiful eyes toward her and confesses that there has only ever been Helen for him, but he couldn’t stand never knowing if she would come back alive when she left on a mission. Helen and Matt nearly have a moment, but the computer beeps with the results of their search.
The next morning, Helen goes into the kitchen to find Matt’s 20-year-old nephew has come to stay for the weekend. Helen and the camera slowly pan up and down his gorgeous, toned, oiled-up and glistening body as he stands, nearly-naked but for his tight, black satin booty-short underwear, and starts making a gourmet vegetarian omelet.
He turns around and smiles at Helen. “You must be a friend of Uncle Matt. I’m Caden. You hungry?”
Helen’s eyes drift down to Caden’s bulging crotch. “Oh, I could eat,” she quips.
Helen Mirren and the actor who plays the 20 year old nephew get together in real life. Everyone is delighted by this.
@leftennant and I were just bemoaning the lack of rom coms out there in Hollywood and how it’s probably stimmying the careers of certain actors who would kill it in that niche.
This seems like such low hanging fruit being ignored. With relatively low budgets you can afford the occasional failure compared to the thud Justice League just made. If you picked a random group of ten women and asked them to brainstorm ideas they’d come up with solid ideas to be spun into box office gold.
Per example:
Kat Dennings is the quirky girl trekking across New Zealand following her lifelong love of all things Tolkein. She meets Chris Evans and dismisses him as a frat bro, but it’s love at first sight for him. Can he persuade her he’s the real deal?
Of course he can. I’m still buying a ticket to this.
Hayley Atwell has to resist the charms of Sebastian Stan for 30 days to win a million dollars. But if he can persuade her to kiss him, he wins the million dollars. Who’s going to win? Can she resist him?
Who gives a fuck, we know there’s going to be a kiss and they’ll split the money, just take my money already.
Daisy Ridley and Tessa Thompson are stranded in an airport during a blizzard and have nothing to do but get to know each other.
I don’t even need you to tell me the plot of this one, because I already booked my seat.
Tell me Tumblr–what rom com ideas would you like to see and who would star in them?
America Ferrera needs a date to her family’s insane holiday party, so she puts out an ad on Craigslist for a bad boyfriend, so they’ll never ask her about him again. Tom Hardy is the bad boy she hires. Only, he’s actually pretty sweet.
–
Marisa Tomei is doing great as a single mom. She just closed a huge deal at her job, and her kid is surprisingly chill for a teenager, from what she’s read. Enter: her ex, Gerard Butler, freshly transferred back to NYC from London, and still in love with her. Can she admit she’s still in love with him?
–
Matt Bomer hates visiting Middle America on his book tours, even though he loves his fans. That is, until he attends a panel discussion where the moderator is local celebrity writer, Channing Tatum.
Y/N made a frantic motion to remove herself from Joffrey, but his firm hands kept her in place. Her cheeks flushed a deep red, and she felt her chest constrict. Gods, she knew this would happen, she knew that there had to be some falling out from this, but she’d only wished that they could’ve gotten more time.
Joffrey, on the other hand, was cool, collected, staring unblinkingly at Jamie. “Evening, Uncle.” He breezed coldly, his jaw set firmly. “You’d do well to knock the next time you intrude.” Annoyance leaked through his tone, and he finally relented, releasing the trembling girl still firmly planted on top of him.
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 