Whenever I see a post on tumblr suggesting aliens don’t have gender, I always think–‘but what if also the reverse. What if aliens also have some fundamental social construct we don’t’.
Like, they come and meet us and they’re like ‘hey this is an awkward question but what’s your gooblebygark?’
And we’re like what.
‘You know, the… the thing. Your goobledygark. The thing that dictates whether you’re gnarfgnoovles or brubledoopes’
What. What. What the fuck, those words don’t even mean anything??? What are you talking about?
‘Look, your ridiculous human languages don’t seem to have the words for these! But they’re totally a thing, they’re like, fundamental aspects of social life for our species, just… just let us lick you so we can know what verb tense to use when we speak to you.’
What does one thing have to do with the other??? That makes no–
‘UGH, nevermind, you’re totally brubledoopes, I can just tell, I don’t even need to taste your bacterial skin colonies.’
And then another alien overhears and is like ‘holy shit, you can’t stereotype like that, that’s SO NOT COOL’
‘yeaH BUT THEY WON’T LET ME LICK THEM’
Yes but what if they lick as a greeting… like
Me: Nice to mee–
Alien: *Vigorously licks my cheek*
Me:
Alien: hey there brubledoope
Tag: aliens
Accidental progress
“In 1900, the Russian archaeologist Friedrich Zibold discovered the remains of a mysterious domed structure in the Byzantine Crimean site of Theodosia. After studying the ruins and some terracotta pipes found nearby, he proposed that the structure was an air well designed to condensate moisture from the air into water, and built a replica to test it. This replica was successful and became the precursor of modern air wells. However, it was discovered later that the ancient structure was actually a tomb, the pipes were not related to it, Zibold had used the wrong materials for his replica, and weather conditions at the time (which had included thick fog) had exaggerated the results of the experiment. But by sheer coincidence these materials were the right type to make a working air well—had Zibold used the real ones in the tomb his experiment would have been a failure—and had weather conditions been more characteristic of the area (not as much fog), it wouldn’t have worked as well as Zibold reported it did. Neither of these problems were discovered until 90 years after Zibold’s experiment. In other words, Zibold inadvertently invented a new technology as a result of a failed attempt to replicate a lost technology that didn’t actually exist in the first place.”
I love this kind of thing.
I kind of hope, if we ever meet aliens, that this is our thing. Other species might be better athletes, or record-keepers, or logical thinkers, but we’re the ones who can basically say “Well, I know now that you were kidding about having a ray gun that turns things into sugar, but while you were laughing over how I actually believed it was possible I went and actually made one, and then improved it to the point that I can choose macro-level structures as well so I now have a gun that turns things into skittles.”
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 