if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
You missed some of the best ones
the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.
How could you forget this one though
I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.
someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?
Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.
Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.
Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”
ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!
I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life
HEY GUYS i’m doing a survey for my linguistics assignment, could you please reply/reblog and tag where you’re from/where you grew up and what you call these?
It even gives you a description of the scene so you know when/where you heard it
Look!
you guys probably already knew about this but yeahh. I’m just really excited because I was wondering what that song was when Mickey walks into the club
I’VE BEEN SEARCHING FOR THIS SONG FOR A WEEK OMFG I LOVE YOU
i know somewhere there is a hero who loved her friend
and was allowed to go home with her
in peace
without a swarm of angry ghosts chasing them down
into an early grave with no name.
i know somewhere there is a boy who loved the sun
and was allowed to soar next to him
in light
without the drip of melting wax sliding down his back
into a cold hungry ocean with a frothing mouth.
i know somewhere there is a god who loved a mortal
and was allowed to live and die together
in silence
without the stench of poisoned ambrosia hissing down his throat
into an unwilling body with withered bones.
and even if they are not here
even if i do not know their names
even if i have never seen their faces or heard their voices
i know that they are out there
somewhere
because sometimes
when i hold you close
and pray into the vast darkness of the universe
i can hear the whispers of their memories
echoing in the silence after my prayer dies
and i can taste the shadow of their pity
lingering on my tongue after my prayer dies
and i know that somewhere
someone like us
was once happy –
So today started out dumb, but this afternoon was AWESOME.
I’m on the porch attempting to construct a railing for the stairs when I notice a weird noise. Like, a kind of droning or buzzing? And it’s getting loud. So I investigate. It’s coming from the neighbor’s yard.
It is a metric fuckton of bees. I have never seen so many bees in my life. It is a fucking swarm of bees, and I have been reading about bees because I got a wild hair a few weeks back about wanting a hive of my own, but haven’t yet convinced Husbandthing, and there is suddenly a SWARMING HERD OF WILD HONEYBEES IN THE NEIGHBOR’S YARD.
I see postings on the neighborhood page all the time for feral swarm collection, but I also know the guy in the house across the alley just set up a hive. “Hey I think your hive escaped,” I text him.
He calls me back about three minutes later. Turns out, the swarm he was supposed to get never came; the company went out of business and his order got cancelled, and he’d found out HALF AN HOUR AGO. And he says he’s got a friend who is a professional beekeeper, and he’s going to go pick her up and would it be okay if they came and got this swarm please please please?
So Bee Neighbor and Professional Beekeeper show up and immediately don bee suits. Apparently there is fierce competition for feral swarms, and the swarm in the neighbor’s tree is HUGE, and also twenty feet off the ground, and Bee Neighbor wants them very badly.
The tree the bees are in is in a yard belonging to neither of us, so we go knock on the door, but there’s no answer. I knock on the house adjacent to it, but that guy’s not home either. Finally, I text the neighbor on the other side of me to see if he’s got contact info for the property owner, who is incredibly shy and in three years has never made eye contact. No luck.
So…we trespass. We get my extension ladder, and Bee Neighbor climbs the tree while Professional Beekeeper stands on the ladder and walks him through the swarm collection. Turns out, you just shake the swarm into a box, and as long as the queen makes it into the box, the rest of the swarm will eventually follow. Bee Neighbor has never collected a swarm before (this is, in fact, his very first swarm of bees ever) and it takes the two of them the better part of an hour in the tree trying to shake the swarm into the box.
Bees eventually get into the box. Bee Neighbor gets out of the tree without dying, and Professional Beekeeper examines the swarm and makes pleased noises. At this point, the box is the neighbor’s driveway, and about two thirds of the swarm is still milling around the box all confused. Since the neighbor isn’t home and we can’t contact him, he risks coming and parking right in the middle of a huge cloud of bees. Professional Beekeeper doesn’t want to move the box too far away, because we risk the milling bees losing the queen’s scent and never going into the box. An equidistant point between the current location and Bee Neighbor’s yard is the top of my recycling bin.
So they put the box of bees on my recycling bin, and I text Husbandthing.
Now I have a box of bees that I am babysitting. They’re being all lazy and dopey and bumbling around. I think I might be in love. Bee Neighbor will pick the box up later tonight and put them in his hive, and then the bees will be MY neighbors too!!
THIS HAS BEEN THE BEST DAY EVER
#beekeeping #also we left a note on the absent neighbor’s door #hi sorry we trespassed #but as you can see from your security cam footage #there was a giant cloud of bees #and we came and got them #we figured you did not want a yard full of bees #and we will love them #yours very sincerely #the friendly neighborhood bee team [Tags by @sacrificethemtothesquid]
A true story about adventure, bravery, perseverance, but most of all, love 🙂 ❤
U kno I just found out that the whole quote is “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it burned in one” and I like that a lot better
apparently another version of this quote that’s centuries old is “Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they were laying bricks every hour” and I like the take of this one a lot
Due to a typo, your local store/mall/etc. put out a request for an appearance by Satan instead of Santa. He follows through with the request.
He shows up and reads through the entire job contract, notes the spelling ‘Santa’ and just corrects each one with a red pen. He eyes the mall representative, who is sweating bullets, but says nothing about the fact that the contracts he’s making are with children, or that they don’t involve souls of any kind. He signs on the bottom line in a strange, bony quill. There’s a strange red flash, and the mall rep is super reluctant to ask. Or touch the contract.
Satan wears the red suit and the hat and the boots, if awkwardly (those cloven hooves, don’tchaknow).
The elves stand well away, but he’s hardly bothered by that, casually waiting on a throne that’s far more cheerful and composed of significantly less bone than the one he’s used to.
The children are hesitant at first, until a little girl marches up, sans-parents, and plops herself on his knee, looking up at him with the set jaw of someone who isn’t interested in this farce.
“I want a pony,” she says with a roll of her eyes. She’s no more than nine. He arches an eyebrow
“Do you?” he asks. She scoffs.
“Tch, no, but you’re just a man in a suit, it’s not like you can’t get me what I want.”
He smiles at her assertiveness and steeples his fingers, careful not to jostle her from her perch.
“Try me.”
She narrows her eyes at him, studying his inscrutable face before folding her arms.
“There’s a bully at my school, and I want him to go away,” she said. His eyebrow arched a little higher and he tilted his head.
“And if I do this, I believe the standard contract is that you will be a ‘good girl’ and behave appropriately towards your most favored parent?’ he replied. The child rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, sure,” she says. He nods and holds out his hand, which curls around hers entirely when she puts hers out.
“It will be done.”
After that, the children are a lot less hesitant, although several adults attempt to leave. Several hundred bargains are made. For toys. For new family. For present family to suffer. For puppies. And kittens. For understanding. For acceptance.
He declines anything borne of pettiness – of momentary squabbles between jealous children – and redirects them towards more productive desires.
He turns away anyone over the age of eighteen, though several adults attempt to approach. Later they are plagued with horrible nightmares.
At the end of each day, he returns to the underworld and assembles teams of demons, handing out assignments to each of them, to be researched heavily and then executed the night of December 24th. The demons are confused, but do as they’re told, because the dark lord’s edicts are undeniable. His secretary gives him an odd look, but Satan is immune to searching looks, and says nothing, just retires to his room, gets up in the morning, has his coffee, and returns to the mall, donning the suit and heading for the chair.
At the end of the week, he has made more than a thousand deals. The demon hordes are scurrying back and forth between hell and the physical plane.
There are many confused parents, come Christmas morning. Some find themselves with various pets they don’t remember registering for. Others with children. Others still find that their children have undergone some sort of personality shift, to the delight of their siblings.
The first girl is bitter in her heart as she opens gifts, until a letter is personally delivered by a strange mailman, detailing the removal of a teacher from the school she attends. She reads and rereads the letter after her parents finish with it, heart beating strangely lighter in her chest. Her parents are bemused and delighted about the hugs she gives them, and about the enthusiasm with which she ravages her other presents.
They are far less bemused by the black, hellfire-maned pony that is left on their doorstep, a tag attached to the pommel of the saddle that reads, ‘To Katie, Regards, Satan’
best.
the best Christmas story I have read so far
If you like that, Terry Pratchetts hogfather was made into a pretty swell movie and features Death taking thw place of that world’s Santa.
Please guys make sure your Black Panther tickets say Black Panther. Don’t let the movie theatres try and tell you they ran out of tickets and are just giving you a ticket under a different movie’a name. It’s take away from the official counting to see how many people actually saw the movie. DONT JUST LIKE THIS POST SHARE IT TO LET EVERYONE ELSE KNOW!
The Federal Communications Commission’s decision last week to repeal net neutrality was a major blow to internet freedom, but it’s only the first in a long line of actions that the FCC will take to tell itself that America’s broadband situation is better than it actually is. Up next: redefining high speed wired internet to include cell phone service. Because, according to FCC chair Ajit Pai, that’s totally the same thing.
This idea to reclassify smartphone data as broadband was first proposed in August, but with the net neutrality repeal out of the way, the FCC is expected to vote on the proposal by February 3. Currently, the FCC defines broadband connection as 25Mbps download speeds and 3Mbps upload speeds minimum. The new proposal would keep these minimums in place for fixed wireline broadband but also expand the definition to include cell phone data coverage.
This would not only camouflage many of the communities in the US with no access to the internet, but could prevent them from getting necessary funding to build that access. Cell service is often slower, more expensive, and comes with data caps, and even tethering a computer to a phone for internet isn’t a long-term solution, especially for families with multiple people trying to log on at once to do homework, or work, or watch Netflix.
“It seems antithetical to all the other efforts we’re doing,” said Deb Socia, the executive director of Next Century Cities, a coalition of municipalities aimed at expanding local broadband access. “I spent a good part of my life as a teacher and a principal. If I had a classroom full of children that included a lot of failing students, I wouldn’t change my standards [to increase the number of passing grades,] I’d change the intervention.”
Though the process to change these definitions is not as formal as what was required to roll back net neutrality rules, there was still an opportunity for groups to comment this summer, and if there’s enough public backlash, it could potentially meet a different fate. Like net neutrality, it ultimately just comes down to the FCC to make the decision, but groups like Next Century Cities are hoping to hold the agency’s feet to the fire in the meantime.
In January, the group is launching a campaign called #MobileOnly, challenging people to spend one day in the month using only their cell phone data for internet access—no laptops, no computers, and no Wi-Fi. It’s a challenge that’s so unappealing I refuse to even entertain the idea, but it’s one that millions of Americans will be left with as an only option if these broadband definitions are changed. Socia herself will be doing the challenge, as will the two Democrat commissioners on the FCC, Mignon Clyburn and Jessica Rosenworcel.
“Promoting deployment of mobile broadband services alone is not sufficient to bridge digital divides in underserved rural and urban communities,” Clyburn said in a press release for the campaign. “By standing together through this movement, we will demonstrate why it is so essential for all Americans to have access to a robust fixed broadband connection.”
CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story stated that the #MobileOnly challenge was month-long, but participants are asked to pick just one day to take part.
Net Neutrality was first. Canada came after.
Our phones are next.
Nolite te Bastardes Corborundorum.
excuse me.
my
phone
too?
No amount of backlash will change their minds, we need to jump on our reps to fight it.
We also need to keep fighting them, I see much less coverage which is what they want.
At this point I think maybe it’s time to dismantle the FCC since they don’t care about the American people
Reblogging for awareness but also reblogging for the furby.
okay but if they aren’t using any of carrie’s scenes in episode ix, then they need to do a time jump, and in that time jump they need to establish that leia died doing something peaceful bc after a whole life of heroics, she deserves a rest
also, rey and finn have been jedi training together with maz, finn and poe are now dating, rose was initially sad that finn chose poe but then started dating rey and her whole world lit up, kyle ron is running the first order into the ground, and hux has started feeding the resistance information bc he’s so fed up with kyle’s shit, and more stormtroopers have deserted the first order to join finn and the resistance
Every single damn thing about this is perfect please write ep. 9
alternately, since i suck at writing screenplays, i give all my ideas to taika waititi and he gives us the gayest greatest star wars we’ve ever seen
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 