I’ve spent some time wondering at Dumbeldore’s rational for hiring Gilderoy Lockhart and I’ve reached the following conclusion.
When Dumbledore met Lockhart, all he thought was “Oh, this is going to be hilarious.”
I always got the vibe that Dumbledore was like, “there is no possible way for this man to be a Death Eater,” and hired him on the spot.
I like the idea of Dumbledore overcorrecting all the time.
First professor was a death eater? Lets get one who definitely isn’t. That one was an egoistical jerkface? I’ll hire literally the most humble and unassuming human on Earth. Lupin got kicked out by a bunch of parents? Lets go for a man who is incapable of taking any shit from anyone…. etc.
hey everybody who’s in high school rn, in less than ten years its literally going to feel like a bad dream. like its not gonna feel even vaguely real. hang in there
A werewolf film written by a woman wouldn’t be as interesting because they know how unrealistic it is to be caught by surprise by something that happens regularly every damn month.
And then there’s that werewolf who goes three full moons without transforming, then transforms one night during a waxing crescent moon.
Now I’m imagining some on the werewolf form of the pill and having to regularly keep up their schedule and one werewolf telling another that they used to have such irregular changes but the pill now makes things so much easier and the other werewolves being like oh man I should talk to my doctor about this.
All i imagined is some poor fucker that’s like “you think you have it bad. I got my first change at 9 and change sporadically every 4 months or so. For 2 weeks. Sometimes it happens randomly so i just gave up.”
This is actually really good for babies’ brain development. You’re laying the groundwork for conversation, teaching them through example that people take turns talking and listening.
Did you know that babies from affluent families hear an average of thirty MILLION more words before age 5 than babies in families below the poverty line? For context, Les Miserables is about 650,000 words and it looks like this:
So it’s like reading this book 46 times.* And that’s not the total number of spoken words, that’s the GAP between affluent and poor babies. And these are the years in which the brain undergoes the most development. It’s mind-boggling.
So what I’m saying is: keep doing the thing. Do it to all babies, all the time. Narrate your day. Ask them for opinions. (“Should we buy the large bag of potatoes or the small bag?” “Gaabooglagje.” “Yes, just as I thought.”) Point out colors and shapes and letters. Let them scribble outside the lines and treat their babble like talk. Sing them nursery rhymes and Raffi songs and songs from the radio. All of these things are going to build their brains to prepare them for kindergarten and beyond.
*Please do not read Les Mis 46 times to an infant. They don’t even care about the Parisian sewer system.
Don’t tell me what to do I’m going to read Les Mis 46 times to my child until they start a toddler uprising
one time i meant to send my qpp a hashtag millennial joke txt about my ptsd but i accidentally sent it to my manager and i died that day n never recovered its arguably the most mortifying thing ive ever done bc hes a war veteran of 26 years in the military
mISTAKES
one time i told him that i hadnt eaten in a couple days bc i was stressed out n he was like “yeah i know that feeling, i didnt eat for two weeks once” and i was like oh no why were you sick? and he goes “well i was in the cafeteria and a bomb flew over my head and blew up our kitchen and bathrooms and so i just didnt leave my room for a couple weeks lmao yeah it really fucked me up” AND I WAS KUST LIKE OH OK JOHN HOLY SHIT???
i told him that i went shark diving a few years ago and evenTHEN HE WAS LIKE “oh yeah i remember scuba diving in like shark infested waters for training it was really cold” JOHN PLEASE
hes a super chill dude tho who just wants hugs and hes always rly respectful n is asking ppl about their boundaries so he doesnt cross over any lines and like one time we were talking and i confided in him abt my mental issues n i was like “i know it probably sounds stupid to hear from me like oh haha yeah sure dave youve got ptsd ok stop being dramatic ur like three years old” but he immediately was like “anybody can have ptsd, its post-TRAUMATIC and what causes that is something BAD, you dont have to b in a war for bad things to happen to you” and i was like How Are You So Nice Thank You John Thats So Sweet WTF
10/10 guy n he laughs at my jokes when i flip out
gonna wrap up this post set with one more quality john moment: he was frumping around the back of the store and was like “i dont understand why customers r intimidated by me? i guess im scary” n i was like
john ur not scary you are like a tiny delicate flower
AND HE JUST GETS ALL BASHFUL AND SMILES N LOOKS DOWN N GOES “aaawe, thanks,,” LIKE GAAAHHHH
i highly recommended ppl finding more johns in their lives
its weird to think horses were ever ‘prey animals’ because what fucking predator looks at a 8 foot tall ENORMOUS beast with pitch black devils eyes, terrifying teeth and extremely powerful legs and think ‘yeah lets go attack that one’
well moose are still prey animals so
thats fucked up, a moose is like a horse with extra weapons
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 