gothartwin:

thepioden:

sadgaywerewolf:

thepioden:

autisticshepard:

thepioden:

bagera69:

acaranalogy:

thepioden:

Ravenclaws probably have, overall as a house, the worst grades in the school tbh. 

i feel as though ravenclaws would have driven Hermione Granger up a wall they neVER DO THEIR HOMEWORK??? I though this was the smart house???? and Ravenclaws are like yeah kay but GET THIS DID YOU KNOW AN ANIMAGUS – but potions homework – who even CARES about potions right now I’m researching this COOLER THING uncouple the idea of ‘smart’ with the idea of ‘good at school’

I bet for the professors teaching Ravenclaws is like herding cats away from empty boxes.

Older Ravenclaws have finely honed the art of asking just the right argumentative questions to direct their teacher onto an entire-class-session-long tangent about something entirely irrelevant to the course material. 

Can you imagine Ravenclaws trying to overhaul the entire school system with Muggle ideas. Trying to figure out how to best teach people, more concerned with how people learn than what they’re learning.

“Why do we force people to learn things they aren’t interested in, we should create our own curriculum.”

“We should figure out everyone’s learning styles.”

“We need smaller class sizes.”

“No, no, wait, guys, what if we eliminated grades entirely.

Yeah, Ravenclaws would drive Hermione up the wall.

“Fire the whole staff and start over.”

“Present more opportunities for seventh-year independent research!”

“Why hasn’t anyone made magically modified calculators yet?”

“Why are we still using quills and parchment when pencils exist? Please explain.”

“I don’t want to enter the work force directly after school, what are my options for higher education? Is there magical university?”

“I don’t feel confident in my professor’s qualifications because she’s teaching me astrology but doesn’t know any facts about space beyond about the year 1764.”

Muggleborn Ravenclaws forming rogue study groups to teach other students chemistry and algebra and English literature, just imagine. 

“They call this the astronomy tower but we’re learning about the effects of Venus when it’s in the fourth house and the professor doesn’t believe Neptune is a planet I am really concerned.”

“Okay but what’s the oxidation state of Mandrake root in pepperup potion?”

“But can you apply differential calculus to arithmancy or not?“ 

“The portrayal of the witches in Macbeth has some pretty troubling implications, also, I don’t think their potion would have actually done anything.”

I can’t not reblog this holy frick

rabbit-kinder:

cobrall:

kleinsens:

polishhammer83:

twunkmichaelmell:

what’s new pussycat just started playing in this restaurant and every millenial in the room shared a knowing, fearful look

It’s fucking Tom Jones? Millennials are you too stupid to realize that Tom Jones is the reason some of you exist? (Think about it for a second, you’ll get it)

hhhhhh oh my god ohhh my god oh my fucking god

tom jones fucked all of our moms

witchsmoke:

thenimbus:

ask-unexus:

postmodernmulticoloredcloak:

lisasimpsonwannabe:

enrique262:

knightrepentant:

enrique262:

Russian soldiers witness the awakening of an elder god.

Why does this stuff always happen in Russia? What are they doing?

Reality decided that’s the only place where it can cut lose, considering they don’t seem to give a fuck about anything. 

“According to some of the YouTube comments, the fire was caused by burning zinc, and the screaming came from the underground pipes that had somewhat of a ‘flute’ effect when the air passed through the tubes.“ 

cool

http://en.zockme.com/screaming-fire-eerily-burns-out-of-the-ground-in-russia/

me: okay that’s a fire what’s so weird about it *unmutes* ………..okay…….

“They cometh”

goddamn that SOUND
magnificent

Sounds like an extraplanar elk bugle

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

thescribblingdesk:

starfieldcanvas:

katiecotugno:

allthingslinguistic:

a-deadletter:

ademska:

reliand:

sergeantjerkbarnes:

simplydalektable:

hannahrhen:

sergeantjerkbarnes:

so i just googled the phrase “toeing out of his shoes” to make sure it was an actual thing

and the results were:

image

it’s all fanfiction

which reminds me that i’ve only ever seen the phrase “carding fingers through his hair” and people describing things like “he’s tall, all lean muscle and long fingers,” like that formula of “they’re ____, all ___ and ____” or whatever in fic

idk i just find it interesting that there are certain phrases that just sort of evolve in fandom and become prevalent in fic bc everyone reads each other’s works and then writes their own and certain phrases stick

i wish i knew more about linguistics so i could actually talk about it in an intelligent manner, but yeah i thought that was kinda cool

Ha! Love it!

One of my fave authors from ages ago used the phrase “a little helplessly” (like “he reached his arms out, a little helplessly”) in EVERY fic she wrote. She never pointed it out—there just came a point where I noticed it like an Easter egg. So I literally *just* wrote it into my in-progress fic this weekend as an homage only I would notice. ❤

To me it’s still the quintessential “two dudes doing each other” phrase.

I think different fic communities develop different phrases too! You can (usually) date a mid 00s lj fic (or someone who came of age in that style) by the way questions are posed and answered in the narration, e.g. “And Patrick? Is not okay with this.” and by the way sex scenes are peppered with “and, yeah.” I remember one Frerard fic that did this so much that it became grating, but overall I loved the lj style because it sounded so much like how real people talk.

Another classic phrase: wondering how far down the _ goes. I’ve seen it mostly with freckles, but also with scars, tattoos, and on one memorable occasion, body glitter at a club. Often paired with the realization during sexy times that “yeah, the __ went all they way down.” I’ve seen this SO much in fic and never anywhere else

whoa, i remember reading lj fics with all of those phrases! i also remember a similar thing in teen wolf fics in particular – they often say “and derek was covered in dirt, which. fantastic.” like using “which” as a sentence-ender or at least like sprinkling it throughout the story in ways published books just don’t.

LINGUISTICS!!!! COMMUNITIES CREATING PHRASES AND SLANG AND SHAPING LANGUAGE IN NEW WAYS!!!!!!!

I love this. Though I don’t think of myself as fantastic writer, by any means, I know the way I write was shaped more by fanfiction and than actual novels. 

I think so much of it has to do with how fanfiction is written in a way that feels real. conversations carry in a way that doesn’t feel forced and is like actual interactions. Thoughts stop in the middle of sentences.

The coherency isn’t lost, it just marries itself to the reader in a different way. A way that shapes that reader/writer and I find that so beautiful. 

FASCINATING

and it poses an intellectual question of whether the value we assign to fanfic conversational prose would translate at all to someone who reads predominantly contemporary literature. as writers who grew up on the internet find their way into publishing houses, what does this mean for the future of contemporary literature? how much bleed over will there be?

we’ve already seen this phenomenon begin with hot garbage like 50 shades, and the mainstream public took to its shitty overuse of conversational prose like it was a refreshing drink of water. what will this mean for more wide-reaching fiction?

QUESTIONS!

@wasureneba
@allthingslinguistic

I’m sure someone could start researching this even now, with writers like Rainbow Rowell and Naomi Novik who have roots in fandom. (If anyone does this project please tell me!) It would be interesting to compare, say, a corpus of a writer’s fanfic with their published fiction (and maybe with a body of their nonfiction, such as their tweets or emails), using the types of author-identification techniques that were used to determine that J.K. Rowling was Robert Galbraith.

One thing that we do know is that written English has gotten less formal over the past few centuries, and in particular that the word “the” has gotten much less frequent over time.

In an earlier discussion, Is French fanfic more like written or spoken French?, people mentioned that French fanfic is a bit more literary than one might expect (it generally uses the written-only tense called the passé simple, rather than the spoken-only tense called the passé composé). So it’s not clear to what extent the same would hold for English fic as well – is it just a couple phrases, like “toeing out of his shoes”? Are the google results influenced by the fact that most published books aren’t available in full text online? Or is there broader stuff going on? Sounds like a good thesis project for someone! 

See also: the gay fanfiction pronoun problem, ship names, and the rest of my fanguistics tag.

I volunteer as tribute (just kidding I do not)

Toeing out of one’s shoes may be a fanfic trend, but toeing them off is in the Oxford English Dictionary: 

[Image description: A screencap of the Oxford Dictionary’s web page for the word “toe.” The first definition for the verb “to toe” is [with object and usually with adverbial] push, touch, or kick with one’s toe: ‘he toed off his shoes and flexed his feet.’ ]

How it mutated from common usage “toed off” to fanfic usage “toed out” is a mystery that has been lost to time, but I felt like pointing out that it’s not something fanficcers invented out of whole cloth.

@deadcatwithaflamethrower This seems like the sort of discourse you’d be happy to jump in on…thoughts?

Well…the internet has sped up the evolution of language and word definitions and useage at a pace where linguists are basically screaming “WAIT WAIT WE CAN’T KEEP UP WITH THIS SHIT WHAT THE HELL GUYYYYYSSSSSSS–”

Take yes and yeah.

Yea. Yeh. Yas. Yis. Those last two? Those are very, very new, and yet they are EVERYWHERE. Before global communication, new terminology didn’t spread that fast.

It’s fucking awesome.