This is why Mr. Fry will always have a seat at my table.
Amen.
I was having a conversation about religion with this guy and he asked me what I would do if I got into heaven and had to sit next to God. I told him I wouldn’t take the seat.
i used to get self-conscious over the smallest things but friends let me tell you that today i had to smuggle a furious 8ft python onto the bus during the school rush and not a single person noticed. not one. if people don’t care enough to notice a shopping bag writhing and seething with barely-contained reptilian hatred then i promise you that no-one will pay any attention to that blemish you’re fretting about or how you’ve done your hair
Question, why are you bringing a 8 ft python into a public bus? You know that this reptile can kill anyone inside there?
buddy she’s a snake not a flying death tentacle
snakes are not evil killers out for blood, and length doesn’t mean lethality! my biggest guy is 11 ft– if i have him around my neck, both his face and his tail touch the floor– and even his species struggles to take down anything bigger than a small-to-medium dog
the worst damage that my 8fter is capable of is when she decides to do an impression of a blood-pressure cuff and makes my arm go a bit purple, and even that’s just when i humour her dreams of being big and scary and let her squeeze her hardest before i unwind her like a bratty garden hose
as long as you’re not some sort of magical tumblring rat, you’re fine
Okay, I gotta ask…
1. Why was she angry?
2. Where were you taking her on the bus? Is there a leash-free snake park where you live?
I need to know.
1. she’s a cranky ass in general, but her mood was absolutely not improved by eating a bit of a snake hook, getting stuffed in a sack, experiencing an hour of adelaide’s finest public transport, and having a vet jam a tube into her stomach
2. i think all of australia is technically a leash-free snake park tbh
I am so glad there was follow up on this post explaining why the snake was on the bus!!!
“bratty garden hose” I’m dying
All of Australia is a leash-free snake park.
“
buddy she’s a snake not a flying death tentacle
“
Learning this took place in Australia really makes it all make much more sense.
There are only three strong female characters in the Star Wars universe
Net Neutrality is going away on the 14th
Shiro probably hates himself for leaving Matt when he escaped
Dean and Cas have been having eye sex for years but will probably never be together because of heteronormativity
Net Neutrality is being voted against on the 14th
Sally probably freaked out when she saw Percy’s legion tattoo because she’s a good mom whose 17 year old kid shouldn’t have a tattoo
Harry, Ron, and Hermione have PTSD from fighting evil since they were 11
The vote for Net Neutrality is on the 14th
Adrien and Marinette were a blink from knowing who the other was
Sense8 is getting a finale and hopefully all the pairs will get married because it’s what they deserve
The only reason you read this post is because you recognized a name from something and I hope you know that we need Net Neutrality to be able to continue enjoying all of these and more
As an atheist, putting my hand on the Bible and saying an oath before testifying to a court is less likely to get me to tell the truth than a pinkey promise
When my parents were fighting for custody, I was old enough to have a say, so they put me under oath to assure I was being honest with my feelings. Using my best serious face, knowing what was coming, when offered the bible to swear on, I requested to swear on the secretary’s hole punch, “because it’s far more honest. It says it’s going to punch a hole, and it does, best God I’ve seen today.” My mom buried her face in her hands, my dad sighed and rubbed his forehead. The judge almost choked on his water before telling the bailiff “find this young lady a hole punch!”
San Jose councilman
Lan Diep sworn into office with his Captain America Shield
CONGRATULATIONS, everybody! We only have 10 days to fight the FCC & the repeal of #NetNeutrality!
Thanks to John Oliver there’s a SUPER easy way to do this Do you enjoy Netflix? Do you find yourself spending too much time on FB? If net neutrality goes away, our Internet bills go up and we give power to companies like Comcast and Spectrum.
Here’s what you can do – takes less than a minute: 1. Go to gofccyourself.com (the shortcut John Oliver made to the hard-to-find FCC comment page) 2. Click on the 17-108 link (Restoring Internet Freedom) 2. Click on “express” 3. Be sure to hit “ENTER” after you put in your name & info so it registers. 4. In the comment section write, “I strongly support net neutrality backed by Title 2 oversight of ISPs.” 5. Click to submit, done. – Make sure you hit submit at the end! **Feel free to share this**
I knew the basics before I got it, but I had no clue…
* The blood wouldn’t necessarily be red. When I first got my period, I spent a few min looking at my underwear wondering how I shit myself. I didn’t know the blood could look brown, or be thick.
* That tampons weren’t a good idea yet. I was 10 or 11 when I got my first period and physically smaller than an adult woman. My first attempt at inserting a tampon was very painful and unsuccessful. I wouldn’t use them until I was around 14 or so.
* That when you use pads the blood can get on your bottom and I’d have to occasionally clean off the toilet seat after using it.
* That getting your first period DOES NOT mean you’re fully developed and fully able to bear children. I could have technically gotten pregnant at that age, but I was still a child and pregnancy would have put my life in danger because I was still physically immature.
* That it wouldn’t be regular for another few years.
* That very painful cramping is NOT NORMAL once you reach your 20s and is cause for concern.
* That the blood and tissue you pass can look chunky or stringy and not like blood from a cut.
* That stress can halt your period for months BUT
* That doesn’t mean you can’t get pregnant
Feel free to add your own
Relatable
-passing blood clots is completely normal
-that your period may straight up skip a month when you first get it
-and then it’ll happen twice in the same month
-getting your period does NOT automatically make you a woman
Painful cramping isn’t normal in your 20’s? That’s a little concerning, mine have been getting exponentially worse
It is NOT normal.
I can 100% guarantee you have endometriosis, PCOS, or another hormone problem. If your doctor says it’s normal, DEMAND a second opinion.
Thinking that it’s normal is how people end up infertile or dead. It’s why so many women under 40 these days are having an almost impossible time either conceiving or preventing conception. Because no one teaches anyone that it’s the sign of trouble that can very seriously hurt you.
Anyone who has severe cramps, heavy bleeding, or irregular periods after about 19 years old should seek medical advice. None of those are normal.
If you have skin tags, a hard time losing weight, migraines related to your period, depression that is amplified when menstruating, severe mood swings, sleep disturbances that get worse with menstruation, or any other significant health problem that started with puberty and is worse when hormones are fluctuating you need to be checked.
None of the things that people relate to women on their periods is actually an example of a healthy woman. It’s an example of people who need one form of treatment or another.
Do NOT go to a general doctor. Find a women’s health center. Obgyn doctors. ASK SPECIFICALLY FOR A FEMALE DOCTOR. (Also helps with creating a demand for female doctors, win-win)
And if the doctor you do see tried to write you off as “nothing” or “its normal”? Politely insist for another doctor. People forget: you are paying them for a service. If you believe the doctor is not taking you or your problems seriously, ASK FOR ANOTHER DOCTOR. Specifically, “Do you have another doctor on staff who is more experienced with female health”. It is WELL within your right to change doctors as you see fit – you owe no loyalty to one specific doctor if they aren’t meeting your needs.
Reblogging for all my followers with vaginas. I have so many sisters and friends with vaginas and I didn’t know most of this. I turn 30 soon. You’d think I’d have pick up these bits of information over the years in conversation.
Hey!! Hey everybody with periods!!! If you have a period you should read this, because it’s helpful, and people with periods really aren’t taught enough about their own bodies.
even if u personally don’t get a period, someone u know/care abt prob does & u should pass this along
women’s health is health & we should all know these things, i feel
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 