Summary: Y/N has a feeling in some way that Roger and her’s love isn’t the same, and she knows it’s not good for either of them. So Y/N has to confront him, and try and save their relationship.
Word Count: 2067
Warnings: Swearing a little bit.
A/N: I don’t think I like this but then I again I don’t really like anything I write. Please leave feedback and let me know if you want a part two I guess!! As always I didn’t proofread so excuse any errors.
You let a sigh escape your lips as you laid the book you were reading down, and checked the time. It was nearly 1 AM and Roger still wasn’t home from the party. You knew he liked to go out with the rest of the band, and that his life was often demanding, so most of the time you let things like this slide. But it’d been happening more recently. He’d come home later than usual, alcohol still staining his breath.
You went to back to reading your book, which you found quite boring but it kept you awake. You were pulled back out of the book when you heard the front door of your home shut. A few seconds later, your blonde boyfriend was standing in the doorway, looking at you. Roger frowned, and spoke. “Why did you wait up for me? Now you’re going to be all sleepy in the morning.” He walked by you, on his way to the bathroom to brush his teeth and everything. A few months ago, he would’ve climbed into bed and given you a long kiss or a hug where he bury his face in your neck. Now, it was just small, quick, meaningless kisses.
He returned from the bathroom a few minutes later, his hair a mess and his chest bare. You could see how tired he was from the long hours in the studio due to recording a new album. “How was your day?” You said, putting your book on your nightstand. “You look exhausted.”
“It was… a day to say the least. Fred always has a perfect vision, and sometimes it’s so…” He shook his head. “Emily helped us all calm down though, it’s really nice to have her there.” Roger said with a smile, and you felt your heart drop. Emily was a new assistant they hired a few months ago, and Roger always talked about her with a grin on his face. It always made you hurt inside when he talked about her, but you reminded yourself he was your boyfriend, not hers.
“Come here, I missed you.” You said patting the empty spot next to you. Roger laid his head in his lap, and let you play with his hair.
“That feels good.” He smiled looking up at you. “Oh I meant to tell you, Emily’s throwing a small party tomorrow for the band… Not really a party, I guess she’s just inviting us and the staff. I won’t be home tomorrow either.”
You felt a deep sigh escape your lips and you froze, you fingers still intertwined with his locks. It was your birthday tomorrow… However you gave him the benefit of doubt. He probably had something special planned, a surprise, you told yourself. “How nice of her…” You said, forcing a smile. You pulled your hands away from his hair, as he sat up.
Roger grabbed your hand and kissed it, before he rolled over and quickly caved to his exhaustion and fell asleep. You stared up at the ceiling, lost in thought, long after he had fallen asleep. You weren’t blind, it was obvious what was going on. The words you exchanged with one another grew smaller and smaller… You loved Roger with your entire heart, and you feared the worst.
********
The next day, your birthday to be exact, you awaited Roger to come home soon so you could out to dinner and celebrate. You’d taken the whole day off of work to be home with him, but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. You refused to believe the worst, and decided to just call Emily’s house, a number you only had because Roger wrote it down. After a few rings, it was picked up. “Hello?” You instantly recognized the voice.
“Hey Freddie!” You chirped, relieved he was the one to answer and not Emily.
“Y/N! I’m so glad I’ve got the chance to talk to you.” You could hear loud voices in the background. “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday, darling!”
You let out a small laugh. You didn’t expect him to remember. “Thanks Freddie.”
“Now I’m assuming you called for that dumb blonde of yours?” He said jokingly. You could hear Freddie yelling Roger’s named repeatedly. A minute later, you heard a new voice.
“Y/N?”
“Hey, when are you going to come home?” You said, with a hint of sadness in your voice, not knowing where it came from.
“Probably same time as last night. Don’t wait up for me tonight please, you get all tired and sleepy in the mornings when you stay up.” Roger said, and you could tell he was distracted.
“Roger, why don’t you come home earlier? I miss you, and it’s my birthday. I really just wanna spend it together.” Your voice cracked. Instead of an answer, you could hear him talking to someone else, and your question was followed by silence. You could easily make out Emily’s voice accompanied by his laughter.“Roger!”
“Hm?” He hadn’t heard a word of what you said. You opened your mouth to you repeat yourself but he continued. “I’ll talk to you later love, bye.” The line went dead and all you could do was stand there. You looked at the framed photo of you two that sat on your dresser, tears stinging your eyes. It wasn’t the same.
********
Roger stumbled home even later that night–or morning now–being careful not to wake you. Your bedroom light was off, and he just assumed you were asleep. Once he climbed into bed, you both laid there, neither of you asleep.
“Rog?” You said, your eyes damp, and your heart heavy with what you were about to say to him.
“Love, you should really be asleep.” Roger frowned turning on the light next to him.
“I can’t lie anymore Rog, I see how invested you are with Emily, the way you smile when you talk about her…”
Roger swallowed, hard shaking his head. “She’s just my assistant… I–“ He was at a loss for words and you both just laid there for a moment, until you sat up.
“Do you love me?” You’re voice cracked near the end, and you turned away so he couldn’t see the tears in your eyes.
“Of course…” He mumbled, and you just shook your head. He turned the light off and laid back down, trying to fall asleep.
“You missed my birthday.” You said softly, still sitting up. You buried your face in your hands. Roger’s heart dropped, and all he could feel in that moment was guilt. He’d forgot all about it just so he could party. You’d sacrificed so much for him, just to be here with him…
Neither of you were oblivious. In that moment he knew that you knew. You knew a while ago, but you just didn’t want to admit it. Roger, usually not an emotional person, could feel tears stinging at his own eyes. You should’ve seen this coming. “Y/N… Please, say something.” His voice cracking, the silence killing him.
“I gave you three years of my life… I–I gave you everything. I gave up my home and my family to be with you.” You cried out. “For three years, I’ve loved you with my entire heart. Did you love me?”
Roger grabbed your hand and cupped your cheek. “Of course I did. I love you so much.”
A tear rolled down your cheek as you placed your own hand on his. “You love me, but you’re not in love with me.” You murmured.
“Y/N, I’m sor–“
“Don’t be sorry…” You said, removing his cheek. “You’ve just… fallen in love… without me.” You said, a sob escaping your lips. Roger just sat there not knowing what to say. It hurt to see you like this. “Our love used to be so amazing.” You sighed out. “And I wish you would’ve just cheated on me, and been the bad guy, because I can’t be mad at you for falling in love.”
And it was true. There was an aching in your chest, and you didn’t want to let him go, but he didn’t love you back the same way. It would’ve been easier if he actually cheated, so you’d be able to have a clean break. But this was more emotional cheating… It was more heartbreaking. “I just wish you hadn’t lied to me all this time.”
“How could I not?” He replied softly. ““I knew if you ever learned the truth that you’d look at me like you’re looking at me now… But you’re wrong, you know… I do love you, please Y/N.” Roger’s voice trembled.
“Things happen Roger, sometimes love changes. I know you don’t love me like you love her.”
“But I don’t want to let you go.” He said, his voice cracking, looking at you in the dimness of your bedroom. All you could do was bury your face in your hands and cry. “Let me show you I still love you, please Y/N.”
“I’m going to stay at a hotel, for a few nights…” Your voice faded.
Roger wanted to plead and beg you stay. He loved you more than he’d ever love Emily, but he knew you couldn’t stay if he loved you both… He was at a loss for words. As you began to pack a bag of your things, he went outside in his pajamas to get some fresh air. It was freezing, and he could see his breath but he didn’t care. Roger tried to think of solutions to this but couldn’t. The front door swung open, and he finally saw you in all your glory. Your nose was red and your face was splotchy. You messily tied your hair back, with baby hairs erupting from it.
You stared at each other as you stood in the doorway for a few seconds before you walked past him. “Y/N, wait.” Roger grabbed your arm, stopping you in your tracks.
Not knowing when it happened your lips were suddenly locked with Roger’s, kissing him. The start of the soft touch sent a strong feeling of warmth spiraling through your system. Your eyes closed fearlessly, but the closure didn’t let you see darkness, it instead created colours of fondness. Your tense nerves soon began to relax, your troubles, your pain began to melt away and the surroundings began to disappear. For a moment, it was just you and Roger again. This kiss was different from the many kisses, because it was your goodbye kiss. Your tears streamed down, and you didn’t want to break apart, you wanted to stay in his arms forever. “Maybe in another life… In another life things will work out for us. There will be no crazy schedules, no assistants, no missed birthdays… In another life…” You repeated.
Once you did break apart he looked at you, and moved his hand to brush a hair out of your face. “I’m an idiot Y/N…” He titled your chin up, and even though you were a heartbroken mess, Roger thought you looked beautiful under the moonlight.
“Goodbye Roger.” You said softly, your heartbreaking. You threw your stuff into your car, and climbed in. You took one last look at Roger, giving him one last sad smile before you drove off.
Roger stood there, unsure what to do as he watched you drive away. He felt like such an idiot… He forgot your birthday… For months now he had planned an incredible birthday night. Dinner at your favorite Italian restaurant, then a walk in the park where you had your first date… And then he planned to get down on one knee, and ask you to marry him. Roger picked a ring out months ago… He wanted to marry you. “I really fucked this up…” He mumbled in the cold, dark street.
As he headed back inside, he knew he couldn’t live without you. Roger’s mind fell to Emily, her smile, and her laugh, but he instantly realized she didn’t compare to you, nobody would ever compare to you. Roger wanted you, and only you.
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