Summary: You are engaged to Roger Taylor, who of course has busy schedule and this comes into conflict when you try to plan a wedding. After a heated argument, you leave your shared house and contemplate what always and forever meant for you two.
Word Count: 3227
Warnings: Swearing
A/N: This one is super long and I’m not sure how I feel about it but I at least hope you guys enjoy it! It took awhile to write, so I hope it’s not too boring. As always please leave feedback, it helps so much! If you’d like a part two don’t be afraid to request it!! I didn’t proofread either so it may have a few errors…
Cold licked at your face and crept under your clothes, spreading across your skin like the lacy tide on a frigid winter beach while you waited for Roger to open the door. With purple lips tinged with blue and gently chattering teeth you wrapped your arms around Roger in attempt to gather warmth. You felt his body shake as he chuckled. “I’ve almost got it open love, I just have so many keys.” He said, wrapping his free hand around you, and rubbing your arm to keep you warm.
Finally, he swung the door open and he guided you inside, the warmth hitting your face. You let out a shiver as you began to heat up. “It’s so cold out there, my God.” You murmured. “I’m going have to some tea to warm up, would you like some?”
“Of course.” He said taking his coat off. “Did you enjoy dinner though?”
“I did, especially when the guy stopped mid-proposal to ask you for an autograph.” You said, smiling thinking back to the memory. A tall, balding man was down on one knee to the woman in front of him. But when he opened his mouth to pop the question, but his eyes fell to Roger who was sitting with you. Instead of “Will you marry me?” all that came out was “Holy shit, Roger Taylor! Sign this napkin!”
“You’re going to be the wife of a rockstar!” His statement made you roll your eyes playfully. Roger himself was smiling too, when you brought up the proposal. “Would you have said yes if I did that during our proposal?”
You thought for a moment as your poured the tea into your designated mugs. “Well she still said yes, so I have to assume she loved him greatly. Just as I do you,” you said, placing the tea onto the shiny coffee table and snuggling up to your fiancé. Roger wrapped his arm around you, and pulled you close. “I’d have been upset with you, but I still would have to say yes.”
He kissed your cheek as you laughed. You looked at the dainty gold ring with a small diamond in appreciation. Thinking about marrying Roger and spending the rest of your lives together always made you giddy. You looked up at Roger from leaning on his chest, and smiled. He was intently focusing on whatever was playing on the television. “Rog…”
“Hm?” Roger drew himself away from the television to look at you. You sat up to face him. “What is it?” He said, furrowing his brows and pushing a piece of your hair behind your ear.
“I’m really glad your back, I missed you while you were on tour.” You said, trying not to smile. It was his first day back and the past months without him had been so lonely, and the brief phone calls were hardly enough for an actual conversation. “And I’m so excited to marry you…” You murmured with a sigh.
Roger looked at you with love, “I know, I’m excited to marry you…”
“All I could think about was our wedding… It doesn’t have to be big you know? Just friends and family, nothing too flashy. The venue will be some scenic venue…”
Roger laughed, “I’m sure you could go on and on but you’re getting a little ahead of yourself…”
You rolled your eyes. “I know I can’t help it. We have to have it soon, I don’t want to be engaged forever… And you know, a spring wedding would be so lovely…” You said biting your lip.
“Y/N…” He mumbled.
“I was honestly hoping for somewhere in March… March 15th…You know the flowers are so lovely–“ You cut off your daydreaming.
“Y/N!” He said louder this time, causing you to snap your head towards him with a bit of a jump. “I can’t do that.”
You frowned. “What do you mean you can’t do that? It’s our wedding.”
“We’re most likely going to be on tour… I wanted to tell you at a better time but after Christmas we’re going to start recording another album, which means another” Roger said, burying his face in his hands.
“But I just got you back.” You said in a whisper, afraid that the threatening tears would start spill out. “And it’s our wedding…”
He looked at you as you squeezed your eyes shut, no longer caring if you were crying or not. “Y/N don’t cry–“ He leaned to touch your cheek in an attempt to comfort you but you recoiled at his a touch.
“Don’t touch me Roger.” You said, your voice shaking. You scooted away from him.
“Come on don’t be like that, we can plan it for a later date.”
“But then you’ll just have another tour! You’re always busy we can’t even plan our fucking wedding!” You said, as your sorrow quickly melted to angry, hot tears spilling onto your cheeks.
“You know my life is demanding…” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. You both wanted to stop arguing, and you knew nothing but pain would come from this, and still you persisted.
“You won’t even set aside time for our wedding? If you weren’t serious about marrying me, then why did you propose in the first place?”
“Honestly, I don’t know!” He shouted, “Right now, I really wish I didn’t.”
You stood there, numb at the words he just screamed at you. You couldn’t think or feel anything but the pain. Roger could see the hurt on your face, and he wished he hadn’t said it, but there was no going back.
“I need a break…” You mumbled out. He just scoffed as you walked past him toward the door.
“Whatever…” He rolled his eyes. You stopped and just took in a deep breath, trying not to cry and show him how much he had hurt you.
Roger pursed his lips as you grabbed your keys and walked out the door with a slam behind you. He stood there for a few seconds, mad at you and mad at himself. He picked up an old framed picture of you two together and threw it furiously at the door. It fell to the ground with a shatter.
You sat in your car, a chill starting to seep into you, as you sobbed, and gasped for air in between.The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down your face. You felt the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child and you looked toward the window, as if the light down the street could soothe you. There is a numbness, a static, in your head once more, the side effect of a fear of losing Roger. Your hear your own sounds, like a distressed child, raw from the inside. It takes something out of you that you didn’t know you had left to give. Still sobbing, you started your car, and drove to your best friend’s house. In less than five minutes you were at Nancy’s house. Shivering you gently knocked on her door, and she answered it with a look of pity. She already knew why you were upset, because nobody else could hurt you that much except Roger…
Nancy set you up a warm, makeshift bed on her couch, right next to the fireplace. She brought you some hot chocolate. “If you need, anything I’ll be in the next room…” She smiled warmly at you.
“Thank you, Nance.” You said with a small smile. You stared into the mug, thinking back to how happy you were just a few hours ago… You were brought back to the fight, however, and couldn’t help but wonder where you went wrong.
What he said… It hurt you so much. He had said so many times he wanted to marry you, to spend the rest of his life with you…
You laid there, staring up at the ceiling, the only noise the crackling of the fireplace, thinking about the past few years with Roger.
You were lying between the satin sheets, your legs intertwined with Roger’s in your old shared apartment. The light began to seep through your old shared apartment. He had his arms wrapped around you, mindlessly tapping the beat of another new song on your arm. You laughed to him. “That tickles!” You squealed.
“‘M sorry love, I can’t help it.” Roger chuckled. “I didn’t even know I was doing it… Just had a tune in my head…”
“Is it a new song of yours? I didn’t recognize it.” You rolled over to face him.
He shook his head. “I’m not sure yet, it just came to me…”
“Well it seems lovely so far… Although I wouldn’t take my word because I just felt your taps… Also to me, anything you make is lovely.”
He grabbed you by the waist, and swiftly rolled you on top of him. “I know something we can make that’s lovely.” He whispered in your ear.
Despite your goosebumps, you erupted in giggles.
“Not now, Rog, it’s too early.”
You laughed in between his kisses, and mumbled “We can’t not now…” and rolled back over next to him. You rested your head against his bare chest, listening to his heartbeat and tracing circles on him with your finger. The you felt about him, the purity of your love… You never wanted it to end.“I wish we could stay this way forever.
“Well why can’t we?” Roger frowned. He grabbed your hand and pressed it to his lips. “We have our whole lives ahead of us.”
“I know but… Who’s to say we’ll always be together…” You said with a sigh. You turned on your side, away from him. There was a moment of silence, and you had a feeling he was thinking about something.
“You know… You could just marry me.” Roger blurted out. You turned over to face him, and he was propped up using his elbow.
“What?” You said in disbelief.
“Yeah…” He mumbled, nodding to himself, as if he was reassuring himself. Roger looked at you, “Marry me.”
“Are you mad? You don’t even have a bloody ring!” You laughed, and couldn’t help but smile.
“Actually…” Roger trailed off. He reached over to his night stand, and pulled out a little velvet box. “I was planning to give this to you on Valentine’s Day, but I think it makes a pretty good engagement ring.” He opened the box, and held up a thin gold ring, with a tiny diamond. “So… Marry me.”
“Roger! I’m not even wear any clothes!” You said, smiling.
“Well, love, I think just the ring on you is still quite fetching.” Roger said with a smirk, pushing your hair behind your ear.
You looked at the tiny ring he held between his fingers, happy tears stinging your eyes. “Well…” He motioned for you to continue, but when you didn’t he looked down at the ring. “So is that a no then?”
You laughed, tears nearly rolling down your cheeks. You shook your head. “No you idiot, I’m just shocked!”
Roger rolled his eyes playfully. “So is that a yes then? You’ll marry me?”
“Of course I’ll marry you!” You said, choking back more tears. He grabbed your left hand, and slid the ring. “Rog, it’s perfect…” You said adoringly.
He pressed his lips against yours, and you could feel the happy tears pour out of your eyes again. He pulled away once he felt your tears hit his own cheek. Roger wiped a tear away with his thumb. “You’re crying…” he mumbled.
“I’m just so happy…” You smiled lovingly at him. “So happy…” You closed your eyes.
He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer once again. “Maybe we will be like this forever. Always and forever…”
The memory faded away just as quickly as it came, and nearly made you cry, and although it was barely a year and a half ago, it felt an eternity ago. Your love then was so pure and raw, and now… Now he wished he never proposed to you.
You looked at the ring, and twisted it back and forth. You didn’t even care about the fact that you had to push your wedding back. All you wanted was to spend the rest of your life with him… But what he said hurt, and he didn’t even seem to care when you walked out… You squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to cry for the what felt like the fiftieth time tonight.
You looked once more at the ring on your finger, remembering why you got engaged to him in the first place. You slid it off for a moment too look at the “Always and Forever” he had engraved on it. It was your favorite thing, because it was pretty much the reason you got engaged to him… You wanted to be with him always and forever…
“I see you’re thinking about him.” Nancy said in the doorway, gesturing with a nod. “I don’t know exactly what you two fought about because I don’t wanna pry… But Y/N, he loves you so much, you can see it in the way he looks at you.”
“He proposed to me so we could have the rest of our lives together. I still want that…” You croaked. “If we are gonna get married, I can’t just walk out like that. I have to work through things.” You sighed, and immediately felt guilty for just leaving. It had been a few hours since you last left, and just hoped he was still home. “Thank you much Nance, I gotta go…”
“Good Luck Y/N.” She said drawing you into a hug. “I hope it all works out. Call me if you ever need anything, okay?” Nancy said with a smile.
You gave her a small nod, and grabbed you keys. The ride back to your house made you nervous, and you hoped he’d taken some time to cool off himself. You were relieved when you saw his car still in the driveway and you practically ran up to the door. The cold nipped at your nose and your teeth were already chattering.
You swung your front door open. “Roger?” You called throughout the house. You started walking toward your bedroom when he came out wearing only pajama bottoms, and closed the door behind. You hoped you hadn’t just woke him up
“W-What are you doing here? I thought you left?” Roger stuttered.
“I did but I realized… I don’t care when the wedding is. Because I get to be with you forever after that, and that all I care about. As long as I have you that’s all that matters. I’m so sorry Rog.” You said, looking up at you. He pulled you into a warm embrace.
“I love you so much Y/N… I’m so sorry.” He kissed the top of your head. You could smell the alcohol radiating from his breath.
You laughed. “Are you shit-faced?” You said, still feeling a little guilty. You quickly kissed his cheek. “Can we please go to bed? It’s been an awfully long–“ You stopped yourself when you heard a laugh erupting from behind the door.
There was silence between you and you froze. You squeezed your eyes shut. “Roger… Open the door.”
“Y/N–“
“Open the door. Now.” You said, anger starting to seep back through. Roger only stood there trying to hide what was behind the door from you. You shoved passed him and open the door yourself. You weren’t surprised to see some blonde, naked under the sheets.
She was still laughing. “Sorry Roger, I know you told me to be quiet but I couldn’t help it!”
Your cheeks burned and you couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. It was of course funny to her, because you had to look pathetic right now. You turned to Roger, a look of hurt and disgust on your face. “How could you?”
Roger turned to the blonde who was still giggling, still naked in your sheets, laying all over your side of the bed. “Get out. Now.” He seethed. You shook your head, wondering why he was yelling at her like it was her fault. The woman didn’t object, and quickly gathered her clothes and bolted for the door.
He started saying things, but you blocked them out as you started shoving as much clothes as you could into a suitcase. You quickly zipped it up.
“Just let me explain, Y/N! Please!” Roger begged.
You sharply turned toward him. “Explain what? That you cheated on me? There’s nothing to explain!”
“I thought we were taking a break! You said you needed a break!” He tried to reason.
“Just because we were on break doesn’t mean you cheat on me! I still wore this stupid ring!” You ripped off the engagement ring and threw it across the room. You didn’t realize it but you were sobbing now, and ugly crying. Usually you were self-conscious about crying, but he hurt you so much you didn’t care.
“Y/N the ring–please…” Roger cried, tears in his own eyes now.
“I wasted years of my fucking life on you, and you blew it all in one night. One night!” You said angrily in between sobs.
“Just listen to me!” He pleaded, but you didn’t. You lifted up your poorly packed suitcase and quickly walked down your hallway.
You stopped in your tracks. “No. Maybe the girl who was in my bed will listen to you
“But I don’t love her, I love you.”
You turned around, to face him. Your cheeks were wet and you were sure your face was splotchy, but you no longer cared. Roger hated seeing that he did this to you… “Love me?” You cried. “You don’t love me! You’ve never loved anyone but yourself!”
You lifted up your suitcase once again, grabbed your keys, but on your way out you saw a smashed photo frame. You figured Roger threw it when he was mad. Your lip quivered and you swiftly walked out the door, slamming behind you. You stopped at the entrance of your house, and just stood there, sobbing.
You had always been so self-conscious when you cried but now you just gave way to the enormity of your grief. You sobbed into your hands and the tears dripped between your fingers, raining down onto the dampened cement. Your breathing was ragged, gasping and the strength left your legs. You sank to your knees not caring about the grit that dug into your knees. You were noisy, your skin was blotched but there was no-one there to witness it let alone come to comfort you. You could run a mile in any direction and not find another soul. You cried until no more tears came, but still the emptiness and sorrow remained. You could hear the crashing and the yells of frustration, and figured Roger was throwing things as he always does.
Roger threw the lamp across the room, and flung the couch over. He was crying too, now, cause he’d hurt and possibly ran off the person he cared about most. His hands shaking, he picked up the broken picture frame he threw earlier, and set it gently on the table. He stormed into his bedroom, tossing and throwing everything else in sight. However, as he was about to throw another lamp, something glittery caught his eye. Instantly he knew what it was.
He picked up the gold ring, and looked at the “Always and Forever” he had engraved inside of after you got engaged. Roger squeezed the ring in his. Maybe “Always and Forever” wasn’t meant for the two of you like you hoped it would be…
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 