Summary: Roger and Reader are best friends, or were, but recently he’s grown more distant. While cleaning her apartment, Reader finds an old letter that was accidentally tucked away. In said letter, he pours his feelings out to her.
Word Count: 2515
Warnings: Just a bit of swearing
A/N: This is my first Roger Taylor fic, and the first fic I’ve written in awhile. It might be boring at first but just try to keep reading, I’m sorry. I really hope you enjoy this, because I worked hard on it. I’m not sure how I feel about this so feedback would be greatly appreciated. If you liked this enough to want a part two, please tell me! Also, this is inspired by Love, Rosie. (I didn’t proofread excuse any errors)
The winter air in Seattle was crisp and cold, and you had bundled yourself up with a cozy, light pink sweater. You struggled trying to find the correct key to your apartment due to your nonstop shivering, and your filled hands. You had just gotten your groceries for the week, and it was the coldest week of the year so far.
You had finally entered your apartment, and the warmth from the heater hit your face. You let out a sigh of relief, only for your phone to start ringing. You rushed to the kitchen, as you were afraid the person calling would hang up after too long. You reached for the phone and held it to your ear. “Hello?”
“Y/N! It’s Roger! I just wanted to call and say hi!”
“Oh, hey.” You said in an awkward tone. He hadn’t called in so long, and he’d just seemed so out of reach lately.
“So, how’ve you been?”
You sighed. “I’ve been alright. The hotel’s been busy with the holidays coming up soon. We also got new furniture in most of our rooms. How about you Rog?”
“Well the tour’s been crazy I’m not gonna lie, but a good crazy. Right now we’re in this crazy fancy hotel, the Blue Moon Hotel. You’ll have to take tips from them.” He laughed to himself. You really missed his laugh… “We’re gonna perform in Los Angeles tomorrow night, we’ve been all over the US now…” He said trailing off. “Tour’s almost done, thankfully.”
“Oh did you already come to Seattle?” You said biting your lip, hoping he’d say no.
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to bother you,” he said, in a quieter voice now, “Plus we were just busy…”
“I wish you would’ve come by and visited… I miss you, Rog.” You sighed, trying to think of the last time you had seen him.
“Yeah… Look Y/N, Brian’s bothering me, says I’m taking too long, but I’ll talk to you soon hopefully.”
“Wait Rog—“ You started, but he had already hung up. With a sigh, you put the phone back on the wall and thought about Roger. He had been so distant the past few months, and it honestly hurt you. You had known Roger since college, and you even kept in touch after you moved across the globe to Seattle to run your own hotel. You’d gone to a lot of his concerts and talked to him all the time before. Now you were lucky if he called once per month, and for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out why. He used to be one of your closest friends.
You’d never admit to it, but you fell for that annoying blonde boy years ago. Back when you were in uni, your boyfriend at the time cheated on you, and Roger found you crying after class. At that point you were already close friends, and he comforted you. You saw your ex-boyfriend later that day with a black eye, and you didn’t suspect Rog until you saw his knuckles. You thought it was kind of an ass thing to punch the guy, but sweet at the same time.
However, ever since he’s been in Queen, he’s always occupied with some skinny, tall girl, and you never think he’d look at you that way. So over the years, you gave up hope, but it’ll always hurt to know he never loved like that.
The rain began to tap on your windows, and you decided to watch the television to take your mind off things. A christmas movie was playing before it cut to a commercial that you had seen fifty times before for soap. You rolled your eyes and grabbed an old magazine that had been sitting on your table for too long. Instantly as you grabbed it, a piece of paper fell out. You frowned and realized upon further inspection that it was a letter addressed to you.
At first you figured it was just a card from your mom but when you opened, you recognized Roger’s handwriting immediately. The letter was dated from six months, and it dawned on you that it got stuck in the magazine during delivery.
What puzzled you the most was that he wrote an actual letter, it was so unRoger-like… He wouldn’t have done this unless it was important. You could feel your heart beating in your chest as you nervously ripped open the sealed envelope.
You began to read the letter as you held your breath in attempt to prepare for what the letter might hold.
Dear Y/N,
Look, don’t make fun of me for writing a letter. I know it’s weird, and not “Rogerlike” as you say, but I didn’t know how else to get this off my chest. Tour starts up again soon, which is why I’m writing this letter now. Everything I’ve been thinking and wanting to say to you for years are overflowing from this pen. I’m leaving this letter so you don’t feel pressured to give me an answer in a moment, so you have a lot of time before we see each other again. I know you will need to take your time trying to decide the answer to what I’m about to say. It’s a lot.
I know you, Y/N. You’re my best friend. I can see it in your eyes when you’re happy or sad, angry & mad… You can never lie to me, because your eyes betray you. I know you more than anyone in the world, maybe better than you know yourself. And I don’t want just any guy to date, because that isn’t what you deserve.
You deserve someone who loves you with his entire heart, and thinks about you every second of the day. Someone who constantly just wondering where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with, and if your okay. You should be with someone who loves all of especially your flaws. You should be with someone who can make you laugh, dance your weird dances, and someone who will never hurt you. Someone who should’ve taken a chance to be with you years ago insteading of being afraid to try.
But I’m not afraid anymore, Y/N, and I’m not afraid to try like I used to be. I want to be with you and I want to be the person who gets to love you. I know it’s crazy and I know it’s a risk. I love the little things you do, your laugh, your smile, the way you care for others…
And don’t think I’ll constantly be sappy like this. This isn’t the Roger you know and trust me this is kind of weird for me too, but I don’t know any better way to tell you.
I can be a lot, I know that. And so can my life, the whole band thing with the tour and fans… It can be a lot, too. But I hope that you love me enough too that it won’t matter.I get it if you don’t feel the same way about me, and when I come back, we can act like this never happened. I never wrote this letter, and I never told you all this sappy stuff.I’d be okay with that, as long as you’re happy. We can still be best friends, and I’ll be okay with knowing that I tried. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t love me that way.
But if you do maybe like me… Fucking tell me! Please.
Love ya,
Rog.
You blinked, still trying to process. You could feel how much emotion Roger had poured into the letter, and that was a lot for him. You were left breathless, and just sat there in silence with the rain pouring down outside. Roger loved you… He really did.
Roger, the boy who made your nineteenth birthday by throwing you a surprise party. Roger, the boy who you had gone out as friends with so many times, hoping it end up to be a date. Roger, the boy who promised he’d always be there for you and protect you. Roger, the boy who you had fallen in love with over the years. He loved you back…
You could barely think, but you knew all you wanted to do was see him. And that’s how you ended up shoving anything and everything in a suitcase. You speeded out of the building and into the pouring rain. Somehow, you were able to buy a ticket for the next flight to Los Angeles. It was a crappy aisle seat, though.
The flight there was short in comparison to others, but for you, it was the longest flight in the world. It didn’t help that the kid behind you kept kicking, and the gross man next to you was snoring. But you couldn’t complain, because you were finally going to see Roger.
Once you landed in LA, you were astonished by how warm and sunny it was at this time of year. The roads were packed and the hustle was nonstop. There weren’t any hotel rooms available last minute, so you unfortunately had to settle for a dingy motel room that smelled like mold and burnt popcorn. But again, you couldn’t complain because you were finally going to see Roger.
You remembered during the phone call he said he was staying at the Blue Moon Hotel for the weekend, because you liked the name and it did sound really fancy…
You took a cab and twenty minutes later, you were there. Roger was right, it was crazy fancy. There was a long, soft, shaggy carpet that stood out against the pristine marble floor, and the couches in the lobby looked incredibly soft… Your admiration of the hotel’s lobby was cut short by someone calling your name.
You swiftly turned on your heel to find Brian all alone, smiling at you. “Hey Y/N, how’ve you been?” He brought you in for a hug. Brian was always so nice to you, so were Freddie and Deaky. “We’ve missed you!”
You beamed at him. “I’ve missed you guys a lot, too. Sorry I’ve not been around as much.”
“Don’t worry about it, I know it’s not your fault. Anyway what are you doing here?” Brian said.
“Well I came to look for Rog, I’ve got to tell him something.”
“That’s a long way to come for Roger, but I’m glad you’re here. He’s in room 2187 on floor 4.”
“Thanks a lot Brian.” You said, pulling him into another quick hug. “I’ll see you later.” He smiled at you.
You sped walk to the elevator instead of running so you didn’t stand out as much. The elevator ride seemed to take forever, and you regretted not taking the stairs. You heard a ding and once again sped walked out.
The hotel hallway was bright and clean, and you hated how nice it was here. The numbers drew closer to Roger’s room, and you were currently at 2179. Then 2185… And then you froze.
You stood for a moment, only holding the letter he had written a few months ago. Nerves began to bubble up and you were terrified. But nonetheless you softly knocked at the door. You could feel your heart practically beating out of your chest. You could hear footsteps from behind the door, and then you heard it unlock. The door swung open, and you couldn’t help but grin.
Your smile faded quickly when you weren’t met with the face that made you come all this way. It was a brunette, and she was wearing nothing but a button up shirt. “Are you here for room service or…” She began. The girl must’ve understood by the confused look on your face that you weren’t. “Are you lost? I don’t know what you’re here for.” She said in almost a rude tone.
“Who is it Connie?” You heard his voice. Your face burned and you felt like crying right then and there. However, you wouldn’t allow yourself to do so.
“I— Nevermind.” You said, and with that you turned around. You clutched the bag that hung across your body as some sort of security. Your hands were empty now, and you realized you dropped the letter at the doorway, but it didn’t matter now, did it?
“It was just some girl…” You heard the brunette say far behind you.
You were close to the elevator now, and far away from Roger. This dream turned into a nightmare and all you wanted was to go home.
Roger, back in his room, walked over to the where Connie was standing. “Who was it?”
“I think she was lost, but whatever. God, why is room service taking so damn long?” She rolled her eyes, heading back towards the bed. Roger stepped out in the hallway, looked left and right before hearing a crunch under his foot. He studied it before picking it up… It was really crumpled at this point, but he was able to make out “Love ya, Roger.” And he instantly knew it was the letter he had written you.
“Shit” he mumbled to himself. He tried to chase after you down the hallway, and ran as fast as he could.
You pressed the lit up button in the elevator and then you saw him standing there, at the end of the hallway. His blonde hair was a mess and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, just sweats. It was the first time you’d laid eyes on him in months… You locked eyes with him, and then shook your head. “Y/N, wait I can explain!” Roger began to run toward the elevator, but then the doors in front of you closed.
Finally alone, you started let the tears roll down your face, and sobs escape. You felt foolish to think it’d work out, or that he’d even wait for you. Of course you didn’t mean that much to him, how stupid could you be… The elevator doors opened, and you wiped your eyes as you entered the hotel lobby.
You started to head for the door when you heard, “Y/N wait!” You froze instantly recognizing the voice, and didn’t turn around.
“Please go back Rog, I shouldn’t have come.” You sighed out. “Connie—Is that her name—I’m sure she’s waiting for you.” You said, almost in a whisper, your voice quivering. You squeezed your eyes shut.
Although you didn’t mean it in a rude way, your last words were a slap in the face to Roger. He was left speechless, and couldn’t find the words to say, even though he wanted to say so much… He noticed the pain and the sadness in your voice, and he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. Roger just thought you ignored his letter.
You looked back at him over your shoulder, a sad smile on your face. “Goodbye Rog.” You walked out of the hotel, leaving the man who you once believed was the love of your life, behind.
andtheytoldustotellyouhello 