cannibalcoalition:

sonneillonv:

cannibalcoalition:

captainsuckass:

cannibalcoalition:

cannibalcoalition:

sonneillonv:

veliseraptor:

it’s the most wonderful time of the year: the Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award

Every single author on the list is male of course

Oh. 

I needed this today. 

I think the winner is the one with a female protagonist, who describes the man’s penis as ‘small, sticky, and amusing’ before stating, as though we were confused, that ‘This is sex.’ 

Then again, are there really any winners here? 

Oh you mean it’s not the one that compares the womans vagina to an “enameled pepper mill”?

That one was a close contender, if for no other reason than that it contains the phrase ‘vaginal ratchet,’ but the closing line of ‘This is sex’ just… when read with a voice full of ennui, really captures how I feel about the entire passage. 

IDK i’m kind of a fan of the guy who somehow went into orbit over another planet because he sucked a tiddy

A paraphrase: “As I suck this tiddy, I harken back to the days when I sucked my mom’s tiddy and that in no way makes this weird.”