When people get pregnant, they will give up smoking, give up alcohol, give up coffee and soda, give up fondue and raw cheese, give up cold cuts and sushi, all because they have heard somewhere, from someone, that these things can be bad for the baby. They don’t know the research, haven’t looked at the studies, can’t talk about sample sizes and control groups. But their dedication to their future child’s safety is so strong, their caution is so overpowering, that they give up these things just in case.
So it baffles me when those same people will insist on spanking their kids.
Even when they are shown the research.
Regardless of what the experts in the field say.
People are so invested in this ability to hit their kids without judgement or consequence, that it absolutely confounds me.
There’s a difference in whoopin kids and hitting/abusing them. I got whoopins as a kid and I turned out great. I have respect for others, I use my freakin manners, I know right from wrong, I do what I should and not what I shouldn’t, etc. And when the time comes I’ll give my kids whoopins for the things I was whooped for. The line between whoopin and abusing kids is only blurred when people choose to see it that way instead of the way it actually is. Whoopin ain’t abusing.
Hey, guess what? I WASNT whooped, and Im successful and respectful, have manners, know right from wrong, the whole nine yards.
Research shows that there ISNT a strict line between abuse ans physical discipline. It is a SPECTRUM OF VIOLENCE and it is NEVER needed.
I’m not saying kids who ain’t whooped aren’t good kids. That’s not at all what I was getting at, I do apologize for that coming off wrong. But kids that are whooped turn out fine too.
Research shows that a LOT of them DONT. That being spanked correlates heavily with anger and trust issues and mental illness.
Dont. Hit. Your. Kids.
Getting a spanking isn’t the worst thing to happen to a child. If you don’t believe in spanking, then don’t spank your child. But don’t try to police how other people raise their kids. Spanking is not abuse.
Spanking may not inherently be abuse, but it exists on the same spectrum of violence as abuse does. Research shows this, and I dont believe that children are property eho can be mistreated in any way a parent pleases.
You sound like a person who has never raised a child or worked with children. Hop off the “research shows” bandwagon and deal with real life situations. Tell a mother who carried a child for nine months and cares for the child 24/7 that child doesn’t belong to her, she’ll laugh in your face. Calling a child property like one is a toy or materialistic item is a very juvenilistic way to argue against spanking. No, they aren’t “property”, but the parent/guardian IS RESPONSIBLE for that child until he/she turns 18. No one who argues for the use of spanking as a form of discipline talks about using it as the ONLY form of discipline. I, myself, have only been spanked once and never needed to have it done again because I learned my lesson. And it was a major thing I was spanked for. My sister stole candy from the store repeatedly as a five year old. After being told why it was a bad thing to do she continued to do it until the last time when my mother spanked her. She never stole after that. My cousin used to run off and hide in the clothing racks in stores. He was talked to multiple times before he was spanked. Children aren’t just innocent little angels. They can be mischievous, devious, little assholes who push buttons just for fun. A good talking to doesn’t always solve the problem. Some children need a literal slap on the wrist to really get it in their minds that as a parent you are not playing around and you’re serious. Some can learn by being talked to and given other forms of punishment, while others need a flip flop to the behind, like myself. But I digress. You can have your belief that spanking is bad and more power to you. But don’t try to enforce your belief on other people and call them bad parents or tell them they turned out bad because they were spanked or whooped as a child and see nothing wrong with it. Because again, it’s not your child and you just sound pretentious when you try to tell someone else how to raise their kids. And no that’s not viewing a child as property either, that’s understanding that a child has not fully matured and developed to be fully in control of every aspect of their life. It’s a parent’s duty to raise and care for a child they created and brought into this world. Leaving a child to it’s own devices and letting him/her choose everything is on the same spectrum as neglect. Yes, children have their own thoughts and feelings about the world and it’s good to nurture that but at the same time children also think eating candy for dinner every day is the best idea, taking baths are the worst and yelling “I pooped my pants” in the middle of church is no big deal.
Im a public school teacher. I have over 100 students per year.
So, like.
Don’t hit your fucking kids.
Are you a parent? Have you literally raised a toddler…EVER? Students are taught to behave, the teachers are just there to teach. Kids need some sort of discipline, talking, taking away something, or if it is just THAT bad then, you give them a spanking. Whenever they are bad, you threaten them with it, and if they are, you spank them. They learn from that. Some kids just learn from simple talks, and others don’t. If you don’t believe in that, then you don’t. don’t try to stop it for other people. Kids need to learn, and usually by the time they are 6-8 they don’t need spakings. My parents whooped by butt, and I learned. I babysat my brothers as they were younger, and whenever they literally were at their worst, they get the whooping. It wasn’t a whip with a belt, just a slap enough to not like it. People don’t understand a whopping isn’t a slap-with-the-belt, leaving a swollen mark. It’s a slap, not a excruciating pain, literally unbareable. So before you tell us what to do, go raise a kid. Then tell us
" the teachers are just there to teach
“ Ahahahahahahahahaha Oh man. So if your kids need to LEARN how to behave, don’t you need to TEACH themm to behave? Why not listen to a TEACHER for how to TEACH your kids, since that’s ~all we do~
How many adolecent development classes have you taken in college? How many adolecent psychology classes have you passsed? How many child behavior textbooks have you bought and used? How many pedagogy certifications do you have?
All the research is there- Don’t hit your fucking kids. Just because you’re a fertile myrtle you popped out some precious little angles doesn’t make you privy to some grand secret about children that the rest of us are ignorant of.
Dont hit kids.
I’m the eldest of 5 kids and the only one of my siblings to be spanked, my mum changed her mind when I was about 5, I cannot think of a single way I was a better-behaved kid than my siblings are. There wasn’t a single issue my mum could manage with violence that she couldn’t with diplomacy.
Don’t his children. Why would the smallest most vulnerable people in our society be the only ones you CAN hit.
Speaking as a parent of as exceptionally willful 5 year old: don’t hit your fucking kids. Don’t spank them. Don’t whoop them. I’ve spanked my daughter twice and all it ever did was make her more determined to do whatever it was I didn’t want her to do. I was raised in a household that used spanking as punishment, I can’t recall a single time it ever made my brother and me do anything but pay lip-service to whatever we were being spanked for. All it ever taught me to do was be more devious about hiding my misdeeds. Going back to parenting my daughter: I’ve gotten more mileage out of conversation, counting, rewards, and competition to correct and direct behavior.
I can’t be assed to find it right now, because all y’all have Google, so find it yourself, but one of the singular most informative studies I read (Lang…ford? Something 2005) said: whoop your kids (not too hard) if everyone else whoops their kids. If it is a cultural practice, and normative within the growing-up-area, and everyone gets a whoopin sometimes for being a tool? There’s not much of a link between corporal punishment and aggressive/fucked up behavior on the part of the child.
Discipline does NOT have to involve corporal punishment, and corporal punishment does NOT inherently damage children.
Or you could not hit your fucking kids
http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases/23732-spanking-does-more-harm-than-good
Can you just let people live their damn lives? Fuck let people spank their kids, you can’t do shit about it.
No. Dont fucking hit kids.
http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases/23732-spanking-does-more-harm-than-good
No. Don’t tell me what to do.
You really want to hit kids, huh? Creepy.
http://ns.umich.edu/new/releases/23732-spanking-does-more-harm-than-good
I’ve literally had this conversation with my fiance about our future kids. They do something extreme then best believe a pop is order.
Don’t fucking hit kids. There are a million other ways to discipline and motivate to do better. Just don’t hit them.
It’s not like I’m slapping them in the face, which I would never do, it’s discipline. Talking it out doesn’t always work. If my kid bullies someone or they are physically violent, they get a flip flop to that ass.
Youre going to beat your kid with a shoe to teach them violence is bad?
Or like…don’t. Don’t hit your kids.
To the people saying they turned out fine because they were hit as a kid.
You didn’t turn out fine, you think it’s acceptable to hit children.
I was spanked a lot as a kid, and it messed me up and didn’t actually change my behavior-it just made me sneakier. I’ve already decided that if I ever have kids, there will be blood on the floor if anyone ever raises a hand to them, any potential partner/family member included.
I can’t imagine hitting a kid-if they can explain why they should be able to do something, and it makes sense, fuckit, let them do it, as long as they aren’t hurting themselves or anyone else. I’d rather my kids be able to come to me with an issue without worrying about me getting violent over it.
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